Liber ab Matrimonium (Book of Marriage)^127
Why Three Handfastings?
There are three Rites of Handfasting in the Wiccan religion because there are
three states in all things, a beginning, a middle, and end, as we discussed in Book of
Three. There are three because the first one proves virtue (the first year and a day of
Pywll), then one proves virtue again (Pywll waiting for Rhiannon), and then one proves
virtue again (the marriage of Pywll to Rhiannon). First an agreement is made, then the
agreement is tested, and then the marriage is made. However, making the marriage is
not a promise for this world, it is a promise for the next.Why Public Rituals for Engagement, Marriage, and Partings?
One of the failings of many views of Wicca is that the non-Wiccan community is not
involved. If Wicca is truly built on the pre-Christian fertility religions, our celebrations
should include much more than just Wiccans. Until very recently, survival depended
on the entire family pulling together for common goals. Is not the blessing of a mar-
riage one of those common goals? Historically and today, such matters are the very
roles of religion. While you might have a knee jerk reaction to this statement, thinking
religion should not be involved in such matters as social law and conduct, if it is not
providing those services then what is it doing?
One can be spiritual without being religious. So why then would we need a religion
if not to establish social standards within our community? Not to force those standards
on folk who accept it, but to provide a community of like-minded folk. When one says
he or she is Wiccan, the only value that word can have is if that word has meaning
beyond whatever a person wants it to mean. Let’s face it; if the word has no meaning,
one might as well call one’s religion Crack and it would mean just as much.
So how can Wicca be a religion when it says that one must decide these matters for
oneself? It does so by the Wiccan’s estimation of what those things are and then by
marking those matters with public ritual to tell their community what those things are.
Wicca does not decide if your marriage will be monogamous or not. Wicca does not
decide if you will have two members to that marriage, three, or whatever number.
Wicca does not decide if you marry a same-sex partner or a member of the opposite
sex. In all these things and more, you decide. But then you let the rest of us know what
that decision is by your varar which is read during ritual. So should your engagement
state that you will be monogamous, your community knows that it would be wrong to
intrude upon it. Should your marriage be open, your community knows that potential
inclusion is welcome. It is in making these things known that your Wicca can interact
with other people’s Wicca. It is in making these things known that Wicca can be a
community religion.Ritual Ideas for the Rite of Handfasting
Lustral bath—Taste and smell are of prime concern as smelling and licking might fol-
low. Myrtle is said to bless unions of marriage.o WB Chap 07.p65 127 7/11/2003, 5:52 PM