If that happens, he would lose protection of the combined might of the gods and
would become an easy target for the demons who are sure to capture and kill him.
On the other hand, it is sure that if he disturbs the meditation of Lord Shiva he
cannot escape the Lord’s wrath.
He found himself in a logjam. He thought over the matter and decided that he is
held in a piquant situation and forced to choose between the ocean and the deep sea.
This being the case and death being a certainty, it is far better to die serving the cause
of the brother-gods and while having a divine view of Lord Shiva from close quarters
(known as having “Darshan”) and dying at the hands of the Lord than being tortured
and killed by a demon (Tarkaasur) and having the ignominy of betraying his brother
gods and not being selfless in his service to creation.
Therefore, Kaamdeo “smiled wryly” as he knew he was trapped and there was no
way out for him.(^2) He is addressed with the word “Maar”, meaning to kill or hurt or harm, because
his deeds would harm Lord Shiva by robbing the Lord of the perpetual peace and
bliss that he was getting while involved in Samadhi (deep meditation).
Refer also to Ram Charit Manas, Baal Kand, Chaupai line no. 4 that precedes
Doha no. 84 herein below where Kaamdeo has been addressed as “Maar”. Surely, the
word fits in properly here because Kaamdeo is on a mission to ‘kill the state of
eternal peace in which Shiva was submerged while meditating’. It also means that
Kaamdeo was on a mission to wage war on Lord Shiva, and in a war it is ‘either kill
or get killed’. In fact, both happened in this case: Kaamdeo successfully eliminated
(“killed”) Shiva’s peace of mind on the one hand, and got himself eliminated
(“killed”) in the process on the other hand.]
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caupā’ī.
tadapi karaba maiṁ kāju tumhārā. śruti kaha parama dharama upakārā. 1.
para hita lāgi taja'i jō dēhī. santata santa prasansahiṁ tēhī. 2.
---Inspite of this (i.e. inspite of all the dangers and uncertainties involved in
attempting to disturb the meditation of Lord Shiva, and despite the fear I have of
being killed in this endeavour), I will still do the work for you^1. The ‘Srutis’ (the
Vedas)^2 say the best meritorious thing for a person to do is to do something that helps
or benefits others (in a selfless manner, which is the opposite of being selfish)^3. (1)
Indeed, if a man leaves his body (dies) to serve others, he is always praised by
saintly people^4 .’ (2)
[Note—^1 What was the work that was to be done? It is outlined in Chaupai line no. 5
that precedes Doha no. 82—to Chaupai line no. 7 that precedes Doha no. 83.
(^2) Kaamdeo was apprehensive of death by playing dirty tricks with Shiva as is
clearly written in line no. 2 of Doha no. 83, and in verse no. 4 herein below. And
what was the apprehension? It was certain that disturbing Shiva would invite his
wrath, and there were fair chances that this would mean death. This is exactly what
had happened—extremely exasperated by Kaamdeo’s insistent impertinence and
causing nuisance for him, Shiva had opened his ‘third eye’ that spewed fire and burnt
Kaamdeo to death. This is narrated in Ram Charit Manas, Baal Kand, Chaupai line
no. 6 that precedes Doha no. 87.
(^3) The word “Sruti” means ‘that which is heard’ as opposed to that which is read.
The ancient texts of the Vedas were first revealed to the meditating seers and sages
while their minds were submerged in deep meditation and contemplation upon the