Ã’ •Áà ‚Ùø ÷ÿ©U ◊Ÿ ◊Ù⁄¥U – ŒÈπË ÷ÿ©°U Á’ÿÙª Á¬ ̋ÿ ÃÙ⁄¥UH 5H
‚È¢Œ⁄U ’ŸU ÁªÁ⁄UU ‚Á⁄UÃU ë∏UÊªÊ – ∑§ıÃÈ∑§ Œπà Á»§⁄U©°U ’⁄UʪÊH 6H
taba ati sōca bhaya'u mana mōrēṁ. dukhī bhaya'um̐ biyōga priya tōrēṁ. 5.
sundara bana giri sarita taṛāgā. kautuka dēkhata phira'um̐ bērāgā. 6.
I was very sad and remorseful at this unfortunate development. Oh dear, I was
miserable due the grief of separation from you^1. (5)
In order to pass my time and find mental peace, I used to wonder here and
there like a detached mendicant. I used to roam, watching beautiful forests,
mountains, rivers and lakes. (6)
[Note—^1 When Sati died, Lord Shiva was overwhelmed with grief. The reason for this
sadness of his heart is given in Ram Charit Manas, Baal Kand, Chaupai line no. 1 that
precedes Doha no. 77 which says to the effect that “though Lord Shiva is inherently
dispassionate and detached, yet he was full of remorse (when Sati died) because one
of his devotees, in this case his consort Sati, had suffered due to his separation from
her, and had also died due to an insult inflicted on the Lord by her father”.
Shiva had earlier voluntarily decided that he will have nothing to do with Sati,
will have no contact with her because she had assumed the form of Sita, the wife of
Lord Ram whom Shiva worships. It was an unethical action on the part of Sati,
something Shiva could not forgive. So, soon after Sati assumed the form of Sita, Lord
Shiva mentally abandoned her. Sati could feel the indifference that her husband Shiva
had developed towards her. This pained her much. She thought to herself, ‘I am
sincerily sorry for my stupid actions. But that does not mean I do not love Shiva. I
can’t live without him. Oh Lord God—please let me die. And if I am honestly
devoted to Lord Shiva then please bless me that in my new birth I may serve my dear
Lord once again.’ Refer: Ram Charit Manas, Baal Kand, (i) Doha no. 59 along with
Chaupai line nos. 1-8 that precede it, and Chaupai line no. 1 that follow this Doha;
and (ii) Chaupai line nos. 5-6 that precede Doha no. 65.
So, in the current verses Lord Shiva addresses this secret thought in her mind—
whether or not he loved Uma inspite of her sins in the past life. Shiva wished to
convey the message to her that in the intervening period from her death and her
reunion with him, he had been very sad and had been remembering her all the time. It
was to overcome his grief that he wondered from place to place.]
ÁªÁ⁄ ‚È◊⁄U ©UÙÊ⁄U ÁŒÁ‚ ŒÍ⁄UË – ŸË‹ ‚Ò‹ ∞∑§ ‚È¢Œ⁄U ÷Í⁄UËH 7H
ÃÊ‚È ∑§Ÿ∑§◊ÿ Á‚π⁄U ‚È„UÊ∞ – øÊÁ⁄U øÊL§ ◊Ù⁄U ◊Ÿ ÷Ê∞H 8H
ÁÃã„U ¬⁄U ∞∑§ ∞∑§ Á’≈U¬ Á’‚Ê‹Ê – ’≈U ¬Ë¬⁄U ¬Ê∑§⁄UË ⁄U‚Ê‹ÊH 9H
‚Ò‹Ù¬Á⁄U ‚⁄U ‚È¢Œ⁄U ‚Ù„UÊ – ◊ÁŸ ‚٬ʟ ŒÁπ ◊Ÿ ◊Ù„UÊH 10H
giri sumēra uttara disi dūrī. nīla saila ēka sundara bhūrī. 7.
tāsu kanakamaya sikhara suhā'ē. cāri cāru mōrē mana bhā'ē. 8.
tinha para ēka ēka biṭapa bisālā. baṭa pīpara pākarī rasālā. 9.
sailōpari sara sundara sōhā. mani sōpāna dēkhi mana mōhā. 10.
During one of those wonderings I reached a beautiful mountain that had a blue hue. It
is called “Neel Giri” (the Blue Mountain), and it is situated further north from Mt.
Sumeru (which is golden in its hue and is said to be the terrestrial abode of gods). (7)