amazing, miraculous, and extraordinary healing 237
take hikes in my head that led me to places that only the
devil would go. Once again, suicidal tendencies embraced
my mind, and the shadows of mental darkness began to over-
power my life. I was placed in lockup once again, medicated,
and watched twenty - four hours a day.
The U.S. State Department thought it best that I return
to Washington, D.C., and go through an evaluation to see
the extent of my problems. After a month of probing into the
crevasses of my psyche, it was determined that I would not
be cleared to return home to Bangladesh. I would be placed
in a residential facility for girls in Pompano Beach, Florida,
called Chord.
Chord was a place that catered to girls with diffi culties
ranging from rebellious teenage behavior to deep issues of
neglect and abuse. I would, for awhile, be somewhat normal,
and then the dark shadow would rear up its nasty head and
I would have a jolting freefall that would cause me to plunge
into a state of terror. More evaluations followed, and it was
fi nally determined that I had a form of schizophrenia. The
State Department decided to recalibrate my past struggles
with the present situation and move me from Florida to a
locked facility in Baltimore, Maryland. As for my parents,
they were sent on another assignment to Cairo, Egypt.
In Baltimore, the center was run by nuns. Before, I was
confi ned to look at and feel the past, but now I had to look
at the potential of the present. Physically, I was confi ned, but
for my mind, I could feel the straitjacket loosen just a little
to feel God in the mix. The crashing waves were beginning to
come as ripples, and the water was clearer than I had seen it
in a very long time. My ups and downs became an occasional
visitor, instead of a permanent resident. I made an effort to try
to seek God. I believed in Him but had not tasted His grace.
I had fi nished my junior year, and summer was on the
horizon. Sure enough, I was getting on a plane to fl y to Cairo,
Egypt. The embassy there had a rotating psychiatrist, who
could evaluate me to see if I would be able to remain and