attached to anything because everything you set out
to do, even if you arranged it very carefully, was
always getting interrupted or completely thwarted.
Our babies slept very little. They always seemed to
be up late and to wake up early, especially if I was
meditating. They seemed to sense when I was up
and would wake up too. Some days I would have to
push my time for myself back to 4:00 A.M. to get any
sitting or yoga in. At other times I was just too
exhausted to care, and figured the sleep was more
important anyway. And sometimes I would just sit
with the baby on my lap, and let him or her decide
how long it would last. They loved being wrapped up
in the meditation blanket, with only their heads
sticking out, and frequently would stay still for
extended periods, while I followed not my breathing
but our breathing.
I felt strongly in those days, and still do, that an
awareness of my body and my breath and of our
close contact as I held them while we sat helped my
babies to sense calmness and explore stillness and
feelings of acceptance. And their inner relaxation,
which was much greater and purer than mine
because their minds were not filled with adult
thoughts and worries, helped me to be more calm
and relaxed and present. When they were toddlers, I
would do yoga with them climbing up, riding on, or
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