Be Nice
It is very easy in the busyness of modern life and the complex
sparring of a day-to-day relationship to forget that we are deal-
ing with a real live human being here and not just someone we
bounce off as we go along. It is easy to start to take people for
granted, to think we’ve thanked them or praised them or said
“please,” when instead we ignored them, were rude by the
guilty sin of omission, disregarded them, and generally
behaved like they were pond life by default.
To m a k e t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p g o w i t h a z i n g , y o u h a v e t o g o b a c k
to square one and start being courteous again in the old-fash-
ioned sense of the word. You have to reintroduce yourselves to
each other as respectful, tactful individuals who are going to
start again being pleasant, kind, civil, and polite. From now
on, you will say “please” and “thank you” no matter how
many times a day it is necessary. Be thoughtful. Be compli-
mentary. Give gifts without there being any reason for it. Ask
questions to show you are interested in what your partner is
saying.
Be solicitous of your partner’s health, welfare, dreams, hopes,
workload, interests, and pleasure. Take time to help him. Take
time to focus on his needs and wants. Take time to just be
there for him, not to have to do anything except listen, show
an interest, show that you still love him. Don’t allow benign
neglect to ruin your relationship.
We treat strangers exceedingly well and usually reser ve our
best attentions for people we work with. Our partner gets
missed, lost in the bustle of it all. In fact, we should treat our
partner better than anyone else. After all, this is supposed to