Contentment Is a High Aim
If you ask a lot of people what they want in life, they say, “Oh,
just to be happy, I guess.” Same goes if you ask what they want
for their children, “I don’t mind what they do as long as they
are happy.” You’d be better off wishing that you or your chil-
dren could be astronauts or brain surgeons—at least you’re in
with a sporting chance then. You can train. They can qualify.
Happiness is such an illusory thing that spending too much
time chasing it is not very worthwhile. Happiness is one end
of a spectrum—misery being the other end. It is a state of
extreme, just as misery represents the other end. If you check
back at the times in your life when you’ve been happy—or
thought you might have been—I’ll bet there were other
extreme feelings involved. The birth of a child? Excitement
yes. Wonder yes. Relief at a successful birth. Yes. But happi-
ness? I’m not sure.
People think they’ll be happy on vacation when they mean
relaxed or stimulated or freed from their cares—and indeed
they are. Aiming for happiness is one of those “bigger is best”
things. You’re never going to make it because there is no top
end limit. You just have to go on aiming for even bigger all the
time. Instead of aiming for happy, it’s better to aim for content-
ment. Now that’s attainable. That’s a worthy goal.
This applies especially to relationships—both to the quest to
find Mr. or Mrs. Right and in what happens when you do.
Most of us want to fall madly head-over-heels in love. Big
chemistry—fireworks, butterflies, unbelievable feelings. It’s
brilliant. It’s extreme. But that intensity can’t and won’t last.
Yo u h a v e t o g o b a c k t o r e a l i t y s o m e t i m e. Yo u h a v e t o g e t o n