Give Your Kids a Break
We’ll talk in a bit about what good parenting is—what your
role as a parent is. First, let’s look at this Rule—give your kids
a break means support and encourage your children. In fact
this should be support and encourage all children, not just
your own. Children get a pretty poor deal of it. They hear it
from all directions, and the word that figures most in their
lives is “no.” No, you can’t do this. No, you’re not old enough
for this. No, you can’t have that. No, you’re not going there.
No, you can’t see that film.
Cast your mind back, and see if it wasn’t the same for you.
“No” is terribly easy for us to say. It’s the word that trips so
readily off the tongue. But to give support and encouragement,
we do have to train ourselves out of it. We have to learn to say
“yes.” Obviously we need to qualify our “yes,” depending on
the age or skills or development of the child. But a resounding
“yes” gives kids a great boost even if it is followed by a “but
not at the moment,” or “when you are old enough” or “when
you have saved up.”
It is also easy to say to a child, “You’re not very good at that,”
or “I wouldn’t do that if I were you; you’ll only fail.” Better to
encourage a child and let him learn that he might fail than to
set the idea running in his mind beforehand. I know we all
want to protect kids from harm, from failure, from disappoint-
ment. But sometimes we have to push them forward and
shelve those worries for the moment.
Tr u l y s u c c e s s f u l p a r e n t s a r e t h e o n e s s a y i n g , “ G o o n , y o u c a n
do that, you’ll be great at that, you’ll be terrific.” By voicing
such positive enforcement, our children get to believe in