There are two situations where people lose their temper—jus-
tified and manipulative. The first is where you run over their
foot with your car and refuse to apologize or acknowledge you
have done anything wrong. In this situation, they are allowed
to shout. The second situation is where people use anger to
get their own way—a sort of emotional blackmail. You are
allowed to ignore them or to be assertive to control the situa-
tion. You are not allowed to shout back.
I know, I know, there are all sorts of situations where shouting
seems appropriate—the dog is stealing the Sunday dinner; the
kids won’t tidy their room; your computer has crashed again
and the repair department won’t fix it quickly enough; the
local deliquents are adorning your fence, again; after going
through the umpteen options over and over again, you fail to
get through to the receptionist after holding for 20 minutes;
the clerk put up the closed sign just as you get to the counter;
someone is clearly being stupid and deliberately choosing to
misunderstand you.
And on and on and on. But if you take this Rule as a simple “I
don’t do shouting,” it becomes an easy benchmark to stick to.
Yo u b e c o m e k n o w n a s s o m e o n e w h o i s i n c r e d i b l y c a l m n o
matter what is happening. Calm people are trusted. Calm
people are relied on. Calm people are looked up to and given
responsibility. Calm people last longer.
SHOUT HERE,
ARGUMENT WEAK.