It’s OK to Feel Big Emotions
If we’re busily maintaining dignity and being peaceful, it’s
tempting to think that we’re detached, and there’s no place for
big feelings. Well, the good news is, it doesn’t work like that.
It is OK to feel emotions. It is OK to feel angry when someone
really upsets you. It is OK to feel huge sadness and grief when
you lose a loved one. It is OK to feel tremendous joy. It is OK
to be scared, anxious, relieved, excited, apprehensive, and all
the others.
We are human beings, and we have emotions. This is all quite
natural. It is quite natural to feel big things deeply, and it’s OK
to let it all show. We don’t have to be ashamed of our feelings.
It is OK to cry. Sitting on our feelings isn’t a good idea. They
just get squashed that way. It’s far better to let them out, deal
with them, and then get on with things.
If we go through trauma, upsetting experiences, and difficult
times, it certainly doesn’t help to be thinking all the time that
we have to keep a lid on it or people will think us weak or out
of control. I know this might look as if it contradicts keeping
our dignity, but feeling emotion is not undignified unless we
express it inappropriately or at the wrong time.
Sometimes even getting angry is totally appropriate—as long
as we remain in control and don’t do anything we might regret
later. Getting angry reminds people that we aren’t a pushover
and that they have hurt/offended/threatened us deeply and
seriously and that their actions have caused us great pain. Of
course, we shouldn’t get angry over silly things—instead, we
should choose to show anger only when it is needed, and
needed seriously. Likewise, it’s not good to get angry and take