ments were very homophobic. I think this is a common phenomenon. Many gay youth es-
pouse homophobia because they are afraid of their difference, do not want other people to
know, and cannot let themselves confront it.
I did not come out as a lesbian until I was in college, primarily because I did not really
know until then. I joined the rugby team and met women who were open about their sexual-
ity and accepting about the sexuality of others. Suddenly I was able to see homosexuality as
“normal” and I could focus on my identity. Once I met people who were openly gay, I was fi-
nally free to be me. I was able to have an emotional and physical relationship with another
woman and to come out to my family. I am not sure why gay women frequently go into
sports. I think it is because sports provide a community of people where you can be comfort-
able being yourself, where it is okay to celebrate being physical, and where you are re-
spected by others, including straight people. I know that I was attracted to the camaraderie
and the freedom.
During my freshman year in college I began to speak with my mother about what was go-
ing on in my life. She asked me lots of questions and was very supportive. When I was in-
volved in my first serious relationship, I decided I had to tell my father about my sexuality.
He said that he already knew and assured me that he would love me no matter what. My
younger brother has found it difficult to accept who I am, but he is coming around.
In college I was able to get support as I tried to sort out my feelings. A professor gave me
material to read and urged me to write about what I read and about myself. I was able to dis-
cuss my ideas with her one on one and felt free to truly say how I felt. I also joined a woman’s
alliance in which it was acceptable to be gay, and I participated in a gay men’s and women’s
group in which we discussed issues we faced and organized a conference. These were impor-
tant relationships because I met a broad range of people who were openly gay and lesbian,
not just rugby players. It made it more comfortable and I finally felt accepted and safe.
An important moment for me was the murder of a young gay man, living in Wyoming,
named Matthew Shepard. When he was killed, he was about the same age as I was and I
found it very frightening. My mother called me when she heard the news on television and
was crying. A professor distributed a newspaper article on what happened and we discussed
it in class. I hung up the article in my apartment and began to actively raise issues about gay
rights with friends.
I graduated from college with a major in English, a minor in women’s studies, and no idea
what I wanted to do. At first I turned to teaching by default, but the more I thought about it,
the more excited I became. I remembered teachers who had pushed and helped me, and I
figured it would be a way to combine my love of reading and writing with my desire to affect
the lives of young people. In my teacher education program, I became more outspoken on
gay rights issues. I helped organize a workshop for student teachers where we discussed
how to provide support for gay and lesbian youth in our classes.
I am open about my identity with my friends and family, but I have not discussed it at
work. As a first-year teacher, I had too many other issues to deal with. However, I am proud
of the way I integrated respect for gays and lesbians into the curriculum. The main themes
we study in middle school English literature are prejudice and tolerance. This year my sev-
enth-grade classes readThe Light in the Forest(Richter, 1994),The Witch of Blackbird Pond
(Speare, 1991),Tom Sawyer(Twain, 1983),When the Legends Die(Borland, 1972),The Yearling
(Rawlings, 1961), andThe Giver(Lowry, 1993). All types of issues are introduced through this
adolescent literature, but attitudes toward sexual orientation and discrimination against
gays are ignored. I decided to design a lesson about the murder of Matthew Shepard using a
political cartoon, a popular song, and poetry. I also reorganized the material for use on one
of the school’s standardized assessment tests. Students had to respond to the cartoon and a
passage from the song and compare themes from these sources with a piece of literature
240 CHAPTER 9