*
Brandon bellies up to the bar at Cassidy’s. “Better make it a pitcher, Fran,
it’s been a really stressful day. You wouldn’t believe the crap that’s coming
down on me. I got chewed out at work for my so-called bad attitude, got called
a deadbeat, and, on the way over here, this guy cuts in and nearly runs me
into the guardrail, then has the nerve to flip me off. I chased that sucker all
the way to the university exit, then he changed lanes and got away.”
Jane, Rachel, and Brandonare the emotionally explosive folks we met
in the last chapter. In this chapter we’ll struggle with an important and
surprisingly difficult question: What is wrong with these people?
You may think you know. Just a few pages ago I diagnosed them as
having panic disorder, depression, and an anger control problem, respec-
tively. What those diagnoses mean is another story altogether, and a con-
fusing one at that. On the surface these disorders appear quite different,
but the underlying mechanisms that lead to explosions are surprisingly
similar, whether people explode into fear, sadness, or anger.
One major reason that explosions keep happening is because people
with psychological disorders are confused about what’s wrong with them
and what will make them feel better. We bystanders are confused as well,
unsure of how to act around them, afraid that something we say or do
might set them off or make them worse. Experts in the field are confused
as well, and at least some of our confusion arises from theirs. What all of
us know about mental disorders has as much to do with values, beliefs,
and prejudices as it does with science.
The science behind defining and treating mental disorders is still in
its infancy. Nobody really knows enough to say which way is best, but lack
of knowledge seldom stops experts from saying anything. It has certainly
never stopped me.
The good news for you in your daily dealings with emotionally explo-
sive people, regardless of their diagnoses, is that there are a lot of experts
who have all the answers. The bad news is that the answers are all differ-
ent. Somehow, you have to sort through them and come up with answers
of your own. Maybe the way to start is by taking a closer look at some of
the more controversial questions.
28 ❧Emotional Explosions