The Sunday Times Magazine • 23She met Rio in early 2017 through mutual
friends. They both happened to be on
holiday in Dubai at the same time. A few
months later he introduced her to the
children, not as a girlfriend but as a friend.
“I was the girl with the dog,” she says, “and
they loved the dog.” Ronnie, a very friendly
chihuahua, is now also part of the family
and spends much of the interview on my
lap. So how did she include the children
when she started dating their dad?
“What we did is this: we went on a date,
but it wasn’t a real date. We just went round
the corner for a very short period and when
we came back, we did something fun with
the kids. So it became that me and Rio
going on a date was good for them because
we always did something fun after. I didn’t
want to be the woman that’s come and
taken their dad away from them.”
She says getting the kids to talk about
their feelings was key. “We make sure their
voices are heard, especially because of what
they’ve been through. It’s really important
that everyone can communicate and say
how they feel. I feel like that really helps us.”
It was hard moving into another
woman’s home. There were photographs
of Rebecca everywhere. A lot of her stuff
was still in the cupboards but the children
needed that stability. “I had to put my
feelings aside. There are a lot of memories
there and I would never tear the children
away from that.”
Kate waited a couple of years before
putting her own stamp on the house, and
she and Rio created a special room for
games and homework that is decorated
with pictures of the children’s mother
and grandmother.
When Kate met Rio she was still in The
Only Way Is Essex — or Towie, as it’s known
to fans. She grew up in Hornchurch in
Essex and was part of a circle of friends who
were already on the show, which led to her
being scouted and cast in 2015. She first
appeared on screen in a bikini during a
special episode in Marbella.
Her parents are divorced and she was
raised by her mother. “My mum did really
well looking after me on her own,” she says,
“but I always wanted more, so I’d go out
and work. My first job was in a fish and chip
shop when I was 14, then I worked in a
hairdresser’s.” She was educated at a strict
all-girls Catholic secondary school but
admits to being a “wild teenager” and going
“a bit off the rails” for a short time. After
leaving school she worked in the City as
a PA until she landed the TV job.
Kate stayed on Towie for almost two years
but much of her storyline revolved around
her bumping into an ex-boyfriend and
arguing with him, which was a bit awkward
once she and Rio started to get serious. In
April 2017 she went public about her new
relationship and released a statement
saying she was leaving the show because
she wanted to keep her life private. She saysit was becoming more and more difficult
living parallel lives: “It just wasn’t working.
How can I be looking after these children
when I’m hanging around with my
ex-boyfriend on Towie, having tiffs with
him every week?”
She came up against criticism and abuse
online and was labelled a gold-digger by
some. “ ‘Oh, she’s met Rio Ferdinand and
now she’s quit her job.’ But it wasn’t that.
I’ve always wanted to work. I like having my
independence.” She looks back on that time
as a form of parental leave, a pause in her
career to give her time to bond with Rio’s
children. “That got us to a position where,
further down the line, I can work because
I’ve got that strong relationship with them.”
When the couple tied the knot in
September 2019, at a luxury hotel in Turkey,
Rio’s two boys walked Kate down the aisle
and all three children made speeches. The
BBC crew were there to capture the
moment and it’s clear Rio’s kids were
delighted their dad and Kate were marrying.
Having her own child has made her feel
even more secure. “I always struggled with
the fact that people didn’t class me as a mum.
I felt maternal. I felt like a mum, to Lorenz,
Tate and Tia. I still do. But a lot of people
didn’t see me as a mum and that hurt.”
I don’t know whether she’s referring to
strangers on social media or people she
knows. I suspect both. Rio’s extended
family and friends would have been
understandably worried about any new
woman coming into his life after Rebecca
died. There’s a scene in the documentary
when Rio’s father, Julian, admits to being
quite cold towards Kate in the beginning
because he was concerned about whether
she was right for his son and grandchildren.
“He was being a protective parent,” Kate
says. “But it was hard for me coming in
because I couldn’t understand why. I just
thought, but I’m nice, why are you being so
standoffish? But we are in such a good place
now. I adore Julian.”
There’s a sweet video on her Instagram
account recording the moment she tells the
three children that she’s pregnant. The
family is sitting around the table playing a
game. When the kids hear the news, they
leap up with excitement and throw their
arms around her in a spontaneous group
hug. Was she worried about how they would
react to the arrival of the new baby?
“I think I was more worried than they
were because I was overthinking the
situation.” She bought Tia — Rio and
Rebecca’s youngest and the only girl —
a few books on becoming a big sister. “The
boys are older, they’re teenagers and less
interested. But yeah, they were excited.”
Cree was born in December 2020, just
before the second lockdown, when
Christmas got cancelled. Kate wanted a
natural birth but after a ten-hour labour,
with the baby showing signs of distress, she
had an emergency C-section. She was“Being on TV just wasn’t
working. How can I be
looking after these
children when I’m
hanging around with
my ex, having tiffs on
Towie every week?”
From top: Kate joins The
Only Way Is Essex with
Michael Hassini in 2015; the
Ferdinands before the birth
of their son, Cree, in 2020REX, @XKATEFERDINAND / INSTAGRAM ➤