side can come out. A Hestia woman won’t engage in gossip or in
intellectual or political discussions. Her gift is to listen with a com-
passionate heart, staying centered in the midst of whatever turmoil
a friend brings to her, providing a warm place by her hearth.
SEXUALITY
When a woman has Hestia as the dominant archetype, sexuality
is not very important to her. Interestingly, this seems true even if
she is orgasmic. Both Hestia women and their husbands have de-
scribed how dormant sexuality is for them until sexual intercourse
is initiated. Then, said one husband, “She’s wildly responsive.” One
Hestia woman was married to a man who initiates sex “once a month
if he’s active and once every two months otherwise”; she found that
she was orgasmic even with very little foreplay. She enjoyed sex
“when it happened” and “was perfectly contented” in its absence.
In such women, the Hestia pattern prevails. Aphrodite’s sexuality
is accessible when evoked during lovemaking but is otherwise ab-
sent.
The nonorgasmic Hestia woman views sexuality as “a nice, warm
experience” that she enjoys providing for her husband: “It feels good
when he comes inside of me. I feel close to him and glad for him.”
For her husband, sex with her is “like coming home” or “a sanctu-
ary.”
A Hestia woman in a lesbian relationship follows the same pattern.
Sex isn’t very important. If her partner is also more receptive than
active sexually, and each waits for the other to initiate sex, their re-
lationship can go for months or even years without sexual expression.
MARRIAGE
A Hestia woman fits the old-fashioned idea of “a good wife.” She
looks after the home well. She is not ambitious for herself or for her
husband—so she neither competes with him nor nags him. She is
not a flirt and isn’t promiscuous. Although his fidelity isn’t of crucial
importance to her as it is for Hera, she is like Hera in being faithful
herself. There is no
Goddesses in Everywoman