mostly as a part of his social facade. He has wedded a woman of his
own social class or higher and can appear with her at his side when
that is called for. This arrangement may be a utilitarian marriage for
him and a personal disaster for her. If any other archetype were
dominant in her, she might be able to accept a marriage that has
form without much content. But a Hera woman is wounded by his
lack of involvement. He is often engrossed in other interests, usually
involving power—such as business transactions and political alli-
ances—and does not share his major concerns with her. She con-
sequently feels an emotional void at her center.
She may try to compensate for (or bury) this feeling of emptiness
by a flurry of social activity intended to present a public image of
the perfect couple. This picture fits a number of socially prominent
couples who put in appearances at such events as the opening night
of the opera or the hospital auxiliary-sponsored cotillion. But the
togetherness that characterizes them in public is missing in private.
Such utilitarian marriages are not limited to any particular class, of
course; they can be found at all social levels.
Regardless of the dissatisfactions of her marriage, a Hera woman
is the least likely, of all of the goddess types, to seek divorce. Like
the goddess Hera, who was humiliated and abused, a Hera woman
can endure bad treatment. She feels married at her core. She finds
divorce inconceivable—even when it happens to her.
If her husband wants to leave her for someone else and tells her
so, a Hera woman deeply resists hearing what he is saying. Marriage
is an archetypal experience for her—in her mind, she will always
be the wife. Even after a divorce has occurred, a Hera woman may
still think of herself as married and may suffer anew each time she
is reminded that she’s not. This reaction creates problems for others,
as well as pain for herself.
She may spend many psychiatric hours struggling with difficulties
that can be traced to the archetypal hold on a woman that marriage
(or Hera) has, even after the marriage has ended. In my practice,
I’ve seen the effect of Hera on all concerned. For example, the patient
may be the divorced Hera woman, who fluctuates between pain and
rage, feeling that that she is
Hera: Goddess of Marriage, Commitment Maker and Wife