Zeus. She also let go of her hopes that he would change, and let go
of the role of victimized, vindictive Hera. Zeus, in turn, discovered
that Hera was truly important to him and conveyed this message
to her. Perhaps only then could Hera be amused—because she finally
recognized that no other woman really had mattered to him all along.
Each of his affairs (like the statue) had been a symbol to him, rather
than an important relationship.
Life sometimes imitates this mythic happy ending, but not usually.
A woman may see that separation has not changed her husband’s
heart, that he hasn’t returned but instead is obviously deeply in-
volved with someone else or is relieved to be away from her. Then
she needs to heed reality. Only then can she grieve and go on with
her life.
RECYCLING ONESELF
The possibility of completing a cycle and beginning anew is inher-
ent in the mythology of Hera. As noted earlier, in the yearly worship
cycle the goddess was Hera the Maiden in the spring, Hera the Ful-
filled One in the summer and fall, and Hera the Widow each winter.
Every spring she was returned to virginity, and the cycle began
again. By understanding this archetypal possibility, a Hera woman
in a bad marriage can emotionally “widow” herself by leaving a re-
lationship that offers only emptiness, abuse, or infidelity. She can
then start anew and this time can choose wisely. In a new marriage,
her drive to be a wife can be fulfilled in a positive way.
The cycle may also be lived out as an inner experience if a woman
lets go of the need to be a wife or the expectation that she will be
fulfilled through the role of wife. A widowed grandmother, for ex-
ample, dreamed that she had begun menstruating again—ten years
after her menopause—and realized that the dream was an accurate
symbolic statement. Feeling whole and on the threshhold of a new
phase of her life, she was psychologically the Maiden once more.
Hera: Goddess of Marriage, Commitment Maker and Wife