“gifts” that will help her do what she wants to do. Perhaps the gifts
are intangible: shared interests or similarities with him that he recog-
nizes and encourages. Or they can be more tangible gifts, such as
special lessons and equipment. For example, tennis champion Chris
Evert Lloyd was coached by her tennis pro father, Jimmy Evert, who
provided her with her own tennis racket when she was only six
years old.
When an Artemis daughter has a nontraditional mother and
father, however, life no longer resembles Mt. Olympus—there was
no equivalent in Greek mythology. When both parents are equals
who share childrearing and household chores, and each has a career,
the Artemis daughter has a model for growth that allows her to
value and develop her Artemis qualities. Moreover, she can do so
without considering such qualities incompatible with maternity or
relationships.
Problems arise when parents criticize or reject an Artemis
daughter for not being the girl they expect her to be. A mother who
wants a placid, cuddly baby girl, and who has instead an active,
“Don’t fence me in” infant, may feel either disappointed in the baby
or rejected by her. A mother who expects a daughter to tag along
after her, run to her for help, and compliantly concede that “Mother
knows best” will not find her expectations fulfilled if she has an
Artemis daughter. Even at three years old, “Little Miss Independent”
doesn’t want to stay home with Mommy; she’d rather play with the
bigger kids down the block. And she doesn’t like to wear frilly
clothes or be cute for her mother’s friends.
Later, when Artemis wants to do something requiring parental
permission, she may run into opposition. If the boys get to do
something and she can’t “because she’s a girl,” she may howl in
protest. And she may withdraw resentfully if her protests are to no
avail. Opposition and disapproval may harm her self-esteem and
self-confidence, especially if her admired father criticizes her for not
being ladylike and never treats her like “his special girl,” while at
the same time being contemptuous or critical of her ideas, abilities,
or aspirations.
In my practice, I hear what happened when such fathers opposed
their Artemis daughters. Typically, the daughter maintained a defiant
pose outwardly but inwardly was wounded. She appeared to be
strong, uninfluenced by what he
Artemis: Goddess of the Hunt and Moon, Competitor and Sister