212 Grief and Loss Across the Lifespan
as a result of joblessness. Family members and close associates often bear the
brunt of anger expressed by the job loser because it is more difficult for the
unemployed adult to direct anger at the employer (Neimeyer, 1998). Children
may have difficulty in school or act out their anger and depression within their
peer groups. On the flip side, social support—particularly family strengths
and marital satisfaction—can be an important buffer against the distress of
unemployment. Family and friends provide sympathetic, hopeful encourage-
ment and buttress the belief that the job search is worthwhile. While the job
search remains unsuccessful, they can provide a deep sense of caring that is
critical to effective functioning. Kudu’s faith and connections to friends and
family sustained her during her unemployment.
Sometimes unemployment spurs midlife adults to rediscover lost or dor-
mant talents. This involves a redefinition of self and an opportunity to find
more meaningful work that is sufficiently remunerative and helps to reestab-
lish an improved fit between the midlife adult and his or her environment.
This can lead to a more positive sense of self-worth and fulfillment.Divorce
After decades of increases, U.S. divorce rates are leveling off and couples are
now slightly more likely to reach their 10th anniversary, but divorce still ends
about half of all marriages and midlife adults are now the most likely to be
divorced (Amato, 2010). Baby boomers (currently midlife adults) had record
rates of divorce in their 20s and 30s. Now in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, they con-
tinue to have a high divorce rate (Huffington Post, 2014a).
Divorce changes relationships, assumptions, roles, routines, and self-
concepts (Lloyd, Sailor, & Carney, 2014). For some midlife women, divorce rep-
resents a transition of renewal, as they move out of a marriage full of conflict
(Sakraida, 2005). For others, divorce strikes at the core of who they think they
are and leaves them angry, destabilized, and mourning (Lloyd et al., 2014). The
literature suggests that the frequency, duration, and intensity of anxiety, loneli-
ness, and depression are greater for divorced women in midlife than for divorced
younger women, tightly associated with whether they initiated the divorce or
not (Sakraida, 2005). In the reading “Finding the Way... Again,” Clare writes
of both the grieving and the new freedom that her divorce represented.
Studies indicate that compared to sociodemographically matched control
groups, divorced/separated individuals show significantly poorer immune
functioning and that existing disease/health problems are aggravated by a dif-
ficult divorce (Kiecolt-Glaser & Newton, 2001; Sakaida, 2005). Financially and
health-wise, women fare more poorly than men following a divorce (Lavelle &
Smock, 2012). Their household income tends to decline, they may lose health
insurance, and their housing may become less secure.
Although leaving a marriage has become more acceptable and legally
easier, suffering and pain are still common (Maata, 2011). The pain of divorce
is similar to that of mourning (Maata, 2011), although the pain/sadness is
often accompanied by anger. Each spouse must confront unfulfilled hopes
and dreams. Midlife adults face losses of self, partner, the sense of family,
and changes of living situation as well (Baum, 2003). Mourning these losses
is essential to one’s adjustment and ability to go on with their lives. However,