5 Towards an Understanding of Embryo Donation ... 131family terms to describe the donors’ role in relation to the child was not
regarded as threatening, as their position was likened to that of extended
family.
By describing the donors as extended family, both donors and recipi-
ents could assume comfortable positions in relation to each other and
the child. While, as Hargreaves ( 2006 ) observes, relatives may be seen
to have a claim on one another by virtue of genetic makeup, these
claims were circumscribed by the designation of the relationship as one
of ‘extended family’. Seeing the other party as extended family allowed
them to express interests in each other’s well-being and created the pos-
sibility for contact. At the same time, the construct bestowed no legal
rights or authority in relation to each other. For example, donors could
maintain a degree of interest in the child’s life, and possibly have some
degree of involvement, but as in many extended families this involve-
ment would be peripheral. Recipients could assume full parenting
authority over their children, but involve and draw on the donors (as
extended family) as they deemed appropriate. Indeed, in some cases
donors and recipients met regularly and drew on each other for sup-
port (e.g. potential support in the pregnancy journey, parenting advice).
Contact was portrayed as positive for the children, as well as reassuring
for adults. It was presented as non-interfering and not necessarily fre-
quent, with several donors and recipients using a range of social media
(e.g. Facebook, Email) and contact arrangements (e.g. meeting for sig-
nificant family occasions such as birthdays.)
Regarding ED as building extended families also allowed the children
in the two families to have the potential for contact, and to ‘activate’
their relationship. As in Blyth’s ( 2012 ) study, siblings were constructed
as a protective band that could offer each other support. For some, it
was important that siblings developed these supportive relationships
from an early age. Others, as in Collard and Kashmeri’s ( 2011 ) study,
were comfortable with activating contact later. In some cases, both
donors and recipients were comfortable with leaving this decision to the
children and expressed willingness for the children to build relationships
if and when they desired.
For both parties, the conceptualisation of ED as extended family-
building offered a way to make sense of ED and of the relationships
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