222 G. O’Brien
or, as Jeffrey reported, that the heart had been ‘wasted on someone who’s
had a life’ (O’Brien et al. 2014 ). Both sought to justify their receipt of
a heart transplant (as opposed to someone young and, by virtue of their
youth, more deserving). Colin suggested that he was perhaps the only
one who could have ‘accepted’ the heart at the particular time his heart
transplant became available; and Jeffrey co-opted the voice of his doctor
who indicated that despite his age, Jeffrey was ‘a perfect candidate’ for
transplant. Several years post-transplant neither man appeared entirely
at ease with his receipt of ‘the gift’. There was a sense of guilt threaded
throughout their narratives, and each of them had ensured that the
donor family did not learn of his age (O’Brien et al. 2014 ).
Gift-of-life understandings of transplantation appear to influence
the experience of gratitude in this context. Of all participants, heart
recipients most often spoke of their transplant as the gift-of-life. Cindy,
for example, spoke of the family who donated the heart she received:
‘They’ve given me a gift, so I can now live my life’. Likewise, Cecelia
reported: ‘[I]t certainly is a gift-of-life because without a donor heart
I certainly would not have survived’. Bob also invoked the gift trope
when referring to his transplant:
This [donated heart] is the gift. I got six years more and I was not given
much time. If I didn’t get my transplant that year, I would have passed in
[year]. I was so sick. So sick I couldn’t even walk up any incline. I was dying.Having established their transplant as the ‘gift-of-life’, heart recipients
most uniformly expressed gratitude in relation to it. Even though they
reported the negative aspects of their experience, their narratives were
those most closely aligned with the idealised version of organ transplan-
tation. The following extract from Diana’s narrative exemplifies this:
I have a life. I wouldn’t be here; I know I would be dead. I know that I’m
very blessed to have a heart. Ah, and each day’s a new day. You get up. You
enjoy the day. I try to fit as much in as I can. ... I’m very grateful for my
heart. I’m grateful for everything. I’m grateful for [Hospital]. Ah, the institu-
tion is wonderful. Yeah. And for my family. Yeah. Christmas and birthdays
and celebrations. ... That’s what I’m grateful for. Yes. The celebrations.