The Sunday Times Magazine • 47then the photo again. He doesn’t rise to
the challenge.
But as I turn away, tell myself to let it go,
let him go, that it’s futile and pathetic,
suddenly, through the silence, from deep
within, from far away, a signal is sent from
the planet Jacob now inhabits. A single
line, as the rope is thrown, head down at
first, not looking at me, but “Yes ...” He
looks up. “I’m beginning to think there
might be similarities.”
And that’s when it happens. I can visibly
see it. Jacob is trying, more than trying,
accepting that there is no point in fighting it
any more. The “evidence is overwhelming”.
I am she. She is returned. All hail, Abi
Morgan is back. There’s no big hurrah.
No grand reunion. No emotional embrace.
I load the dishwasher. He carries on
reading. I should feel happy. Yet Dr D’s
words circle in my brain. I have already been
told that the Capgras is set to stay, so any
change will simply be because it will
“become less useful to him”. And it has.
It does. Even so — Jacob wants to play.
I don’t know what remains of us. Of Jacob
and me. I don’t know what we are any more.
He gave me a bracelet the Christmas beforehe collapsed. I didn’t see at first, but
engraved on the inside of the band it reads,
“To my best friend”. And that’s what we are,
after we are parents, after we are lovers,
after we are family, we are best friends. Still.
He is still my best friend ■© Abi Morgan 2022. Extracted from
This Is Not a Pity Memoir by Abi Morgan,
published by John Murray on May 12
at £14.99REX FEATURES
LOW-RESAbove: Jacob and Abi at the premiere of Suffragette, with Jesse
and Mabel, 2015. Below: at their wedding in June 2021What happened
to Jacob — and
what is Capgras
syndrome?
Jacob suffers from multiple sclerosis
and took monthly injections of
a drug to manage his condition.
In March 2018 Europe’s medicines
regulator recommended the
immediate suspension and recall
of the drug, following a number
of reports of encephalitis
(inflammation of the brain) in
patients, some of which had been
fatal. Jacob collapsed at home,
having developed anti-NMDA
receptor encephalitis. After waking
from a medically induced coma,
he then developed Capgras
syndrome, also known as Capgras
delusion or impostor syndrome.
This is a rare psychological
condition in which a person believes
a loved one has been replaced by
an identical duplicate.
Named after the French
psychiatrist Joseph Capgras, who
described it in 1909, the syndrome
is most commonly seen in patients
with dementia or schizophrenia,
though it is also associated with
conditions including brain damage,
stroke, encephalitis, epilepsy,
Parkinson’s disease and bipolar
disorder. Medical professionals
typically attempt to treat the
underlying cause of the syndrome.
Therapy may also be used to
help the patient live with and
cope with their delusions and
any resulting anxiety.