they observe others having sex (voyeurism). While many of these behaviors are
present in routine sexual experiences—the fear of getting caught, wearing sexy
clothing, biting and pinching—only a small percentage of the population makes
them the only activities in their sexual repertoire.
In recent years, the scandal of pedophilia has rocked the Catholic Church, as
thousands of people have revealed their priests sexually abused them as children, and
the Church officials knew about it and did nothing. Some people in this culture mis-
takenly believe that pedophiles are gay because so many of the children abused by
the priests were boys. However, pedophiliais actually the erotic attraction to chil-
dren, who may be of either or both genders. Most of the pedophile priests were not
“gay”—that is, they were not interested at all in sexual activity with other adult men.
We know little about pedophiles because they are subject to such
severe social disapproval that social scientists are reluctant to research
them, and there are very few pedophile organizations. Most pedophiles
are male, and most are interested only in girls, though some are interested
in boys, and some are interested in both. Contrary to common miscon-
ceptions, they do not usually grab children from the streets. They estab-
lish friendships with the children that become sexual only gradually, over
time. And they are not usually murderers. They believe that they are in a
romantic relationship and would not mistreat the children in any way—
except for the sex.
Pedophiles themselves claim pedophilia is an orientation, as innate
and essential to their identity as being gay, lesbian, heterosexual, or bisex-
ual, and therefore they are an oppressed minority group. But even if
pedophilia is a sexual orientation, does that mean that pedophiles should
be accepted as a minority group? In our culture, we assume that one pre-
condition for engaging in sexual activity is consent, so any sexual orien-
tation that requires a nonconsenting partner is unacceptable. And we
believe that only adults are capable of giving consent.
Asexuality.Everybody has a sexual orientation, right? Regardless of
whether you are currently sexual, everybody is attracted to men, women,
or both. Not necessarily. Some people state they have no sexual desire
for anyone. They aren’t gay/lesbian or heterosexual; they’re asexual.
About 10 percent of men aged 15 to 44 have never had sex in their lives
(Centers for Disease Control, 2005).
Friends, family, and the medical establishment are quick to diagnose
them as confused, conflicted, suffering from a hormone deficiency, or
traumatized by child abuse. But they counter that asexuality is not a
problem that needs to be cured: It is a perfectly valid sexual orienta-
tion. Asexuals have their own organizations, websites, slogans, coming-
out stories, and lots of merchandise to buy (Harris, 2006).
We’ve seen asexuals before—in nineteenth-century Britain, for example. The great
fictional detective Sherlock Holmes was a “confirmed bachelor,” with no interest in
getting married. And he was not alone: Victorian England was full of writers, adven-
turers, businessmen, and clergymen who never married (not many laborers and
craftsmen; only the upper class could afford to stay unmarried). Why the overabun-
dance of bachelors? Some may have been gay, but the majority were straight. They
liked women, they just didn’t want to marry or have sex with them. The reason?
Perhaps they were afraid. The best medical science of the era advised that too much
sex would destroy your brain, making you mentally ill; even occasional sex had
a debilitating effect.
STUDYING SEXUALITY: BODIES, BEHAVIORS, AND IDENTITIES 325Having sex isn’t a natural act. It’s a social
one. And there’s considerable variation in
what people “count” as “having sex.” Is
showering together sex? Deep kissing?
Oral sex?
Research published in the Journal of
the American Medical Association(JAMA)
surveyed students at a large Midwestern
university. While 99 percent of them
agreed that heterosexual intercourse counts
as sex, nearly three-fifths thought oral sex
didn’t count, and one in five thought anal
sex didn’t count (Sanders and Reinisch,
1999). A Gallup poll of Americans found
similar rates. On the other hand, a 2004
survey found more than one-third believed
deep kissing doescount as sex (Rawlings
et al, 2004).
Men are more likely to count deep
kissing than women. In fact, definitions of
sex vary by gender and other factors, like
age and nationality. Men are more likely
than women to count genital touching,
and younger people include fewer erotic
behaviors as sex than older ones do.Didyouknow