The Great Tweet-off:
Food Edition
The foodies of Twitter like a
dash of humour with their meals.
Billion-dollar idea. A smoke
detector that shuts off when
you yell, “I’m just cooking!”
@LEMMYWINKLERI never realised how much
of parenthood would involve
competing with the dog for
my kids’ leftover fries.
@LURKATHOMEMOMA lady posted her grandmother’s
brownie recipe, so I tried making
them. Turns out her grandma was
a terrible baker. @DDSMIDTI wanted to go out tonight,
but the avocado I bought this
week will finally be ripe enough
to eat between 8pm and
8.15pm, so I can’t. @TANISHALOVEI’m on the snake diet. It’s the
one where you lie on the floor
all day, eat 25% of your body
weight, and hiss at anyone who
comes near you. @ASHLEYAUSTREWILLUSTRATIONS: GETTY IMAGES
WERE THEY PERHAPS
FORGET-ME-NOTS?
My friend Garrick had the solution
to forgetting his wife’s birthday
and their wedding anniversary:
he opened an account with a local
florist and provided it with both
dates as well as instructions to send
flowers and a card signed “Your
loving husband, Garrick.”
For a few years, it worked. Then
one day, Garrick came home on
their wedding anniversary. He saw
the flowers on the dining room table
and said, “What nice flowers. Where
did you get them?”
SUBMITTED BY YEFIM M. BRODDNOT GOING TO FLY
My mother was in a bakery and
noticed a fly in the display case.
The assistant must have noticed her
look of dismay because she assured
Mum, “Don’t worry. They don’t
eat much.” SUBMITTED BY W. E.