“TOXIC MASCULINITY COMES
FROM WHEN WE WERE RAISED
ASLITTLEBOYS...IT’SBEEN
DETRIMENTAL TO OUR SOCIETY.”
opportunity to be vulnerable and to express
emotion.Inthesecondepisode,someone
fromtheteamcameinandwaslike,‘Karamo,
enough with the cries.’ I literally said to them,
‘Ifyoudon’twantmetodomyjob,then you
should’ve hired another culture guy’.
“Iknewinmyheartthatifwecouldallfeel
comfortableaboutgoingthere,anditnotjust
beingsurface,thenthisshowwouldbebetter
than anyone had imagined,” he adds. “The
guysralliedaroundme.Now,everyonealways
talksabouttheemotionandthecrying.”
Within minutes of meeting George, Brown
hadalreadyworkedhismagic.There,inthe
driveway adjacent to his humble farm
residence, tears are coursing down George’s
reddened face, sticking to his stubble. It’d be
easy to assume either Brown is so wonderful,
soempathetic,thathehasthesupernatural
abilitytoreducea54-year-oldstoictonear-
instanttears.Or,perhaps,therearemorethan
a few 54-year-old stoics who are all too ready
tobereducedtotears.BUT
there’s another reason the show
resonatesin2018.Overthepast
18months,asasteadystreamof
storieshasemergedfrompreviouslyunheard
women,onetermhasbubbledtothe surface
over and over: toxic masculinity.
We’vemademuchofdiagnosingit,but
we’vetalkedaboutitsantidotefarmorerarely.
More often, we explore the ways toxic
masculinityfestersandspreads–infar-away
cornersoftheinternet,we’veseenhowithas
agravitationalpull,multiplyingand
strengthening itself. We see the men whose
ownself-loathinghasevolvedinto a hatred of
others–womenspeciically.
Unlikely as it may seem, an ostensible
makeover show starring ive queer men who
spendaninordinateamountoftime
screaming, ‘Yas, queen!’ might be as worthy
an antidote as any.
“Toxicmasculinityhonestlycomesfrom
whenwewereraisedaslittleboys–wewere
taught,‘Don’tbeapussy.Manup!Don’tcry!
Don’tbealittlesissy,’”saysBerk.“Guysjust
getthatintheirhead,thatit’snotOKtobe
vulnerable,it’snotOKtoshowemotion,it’s
notOKtocry.Ithinkit’sbeendetrimentalto
oursociety.It’snotallowedmentoreallyind
themselves. I think it’s created a generation of
men who don’t know how to feel.”
Anauxiliarylessonmenhavelearnedfrom
#MeTooisthecleverandwhollynecessary
systems women have used to strengthen their
emotionalandphysicalsafety–fromwhisper
networks to ‘bad date lists’ to carefully-
curatedGooglespreadsheetsof‘shitty men’ to
steer clear of in various industries.Men haven’t needed such systems before –
butit’sbecomingclearerthattheymayneedto
manufacturetheirowntoensure that they
keepthemselvesandotherssafe.
“Weliveinthisyouth-obsessedculture,
andI’mtiredofit,”saysBrown.“It’splaguing
youngmeninawaythatwedon’tdiscuss,
becauseweonlytalkaboutitwithwomen.We
talk about women and their body issues and
howwemakewomenfeelliketheyhavetobe
a certain body size. But we don’t realise that
weputthatsamepressureonmen.
“Georgewasanathlete,abullrider.Every
time we say, how do you feel about yourself?
He looks down at his belly. That’s the irst
thinghelooksat.”
Farfrombeinginvincible,emotionallywoke
beings, makingQueer Eyehasforcedmanyofits
stars to confront their own lingering insecurities.
AntoniPorowski,theFabFive’scookingexpert
–and,manywilltellyou,residentthirst-trap–
has received an inordinate amount of the show’s