36 S MAGAZINE ★ 25 AUGUST 2019
Sex matters Doctor, doctor
Dr Rosemary Leonard MBE is a GP with many years’
experience working in London’s top teaching hospitalsPHOTOGRAPH: RCD1Our agony aunt gets to the heart of your relationship problems JANE O’GORMAN’S
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charge and last approximately four minutes.How do I prevent my in-laws moving in?
place you consider home.
Simply turning up is arrogant
and disrespectful. Unfortunately,
there’s no such thing as a free
ride. If continuing to live in their
shadow is going to compromise
your marriage and impact on your
ability to cope, then do you need
to think about full independence
in the future? Times might be
tough in a place of your own but
at least you’d be able to shut the
front door and call the shots.helping, they dominated the baby,
lectured me and got in the way.
Now their house is being
renovated and my partner has
warned me that they plan to
move in with us until the New
Year. How do I prevent this when
my nerves are already shattered?
It’s high time you established
some ground rules. I understand
that your wealthy in-laws own your
property, but you must be allowed
some privacy and autonomy in theContact Jane at S Magazine, Second Floor,
Northern & Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames
Street, London EC3R 6EN or email jane.
[email protected]. Jane regrets that
she cannot reply personally to your letters.I’m fully aware that my partner
enjoys two types of sex. He
has safe, vanilla love with me
and wild, anything goes
passion with his mistress. He
claims that she’s no threat to
me, on the contrary, he says
she’s what keeps him sane
and us together. Without his
fortnightly visits to her, we’d
have split a year ago. I get it
that he struggles in a high-
pressured job, but why does he
continue to humiliate me in
this way when he doesn’t even
try to hide her existence?You need to break this
situation by taking yourself
away somewhere – to a friend
or trusted relative – and really
think about your life and where
you want to go from here. If
your partner’s mistress is
totally unacceptable to you,
then he has to hear that you
refuse to continue to play
this game. You must consider
your sexual health and your
self-respect. Don’t allow him to
convince you that this situation
is a good thing, because you
don’t have to put up with it.We’re financially dependent on
my husband’s parents. We live
(rent free) in a large house they
own and frequently need to ask
them for cash injections because
our incomings don’t cover our
outgoings. The price we pay,
however, is them dropping in
unannounced and staying for
weeks. When I gave birth in 2017
they turned up the day I returned
home after a Caesarean section
and stayed for a month. Far fromwhom she can trust. Reassure
your children that you intend to
live your own life. But don’t be
too proud to speak up if she
does begin to overwhelm you
or take advantage.joy to spend time with. The only
problem is that she’s thrice
divorced and has something of a
bad reputation, locally. My adult
children are furious that I’m
dating her; frequently branding
her a gold-digger and a leech.
But is it so wrong to mix with
someone who lifts my spirits
when all I see in front of me is a
woman who makes me laugh?
Alarm bells should ring if she does
start asking for money or favours.
If you own a property, then you
could be vulnerable. Keep your
wits about you and take one day
at a time. It could be that her wild
days are behind her and that she’s
finally found, in you, someoneand you’re perfectly within your
rights to ask your fiancée to calm
down and take a deep breath. No
event runs absolutely perfectly no
matter how much work is put in
because life doesn’t work like
that. Warn her that you’re already
worried about her mental health
post honeymoon. Reassure her of
your love and commitment, but
make it clear that you refuse to
allow this event to come between
you. Whatever happened to
spontaneity and fun?Is my new woman
af ter my money?
My new lady friend is funny and aI’m dreading my
own wedding
My fiancée has been planning our
June 2020 wedding for three
years – and I’m now dreading the
actual day. She’s a perfectionist
who has nailed every table
setting, flower and morsel down
to the finest detail. I just know
that something will not be right
on the big day and that she’ll be
distracted and disappointed. This
whole event has consumed her
and I dread to think what she’ll
be like once we return from
honeymoon. Why does everything
have to be so complicated?
This is going to be your day, too,Contact Dr Leonard at S Magazine,
Sunday Express, Second Floor, Northern
and Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames
Street, London EC3R 6EN, or email dr.
[email protected]. Dr Leonard
regrets that she cannot reply personally to
letters. Read her column every Tuesday in
the Daily Express.Jane O’Gorman
I went through the menopause
last year and decided that I
needed to look after my health
a bit better. I’ve become a
vegetarian, lost a bit of weight
and do more exercise. So I
was surprised when my recent
NHS health check showed my
cholesterol level had risen.
Oestrogen, which is produced
by the ovaries, lowers levels of
the harmful LDL cholesterol in
the bloodstream, but oestrogen
levels fall dramatically after themenopause and this means
many women find their
cholesterol levels rise when
their periods stop. Diet can
also have an affect. So if your
cholesterol levels remain high
despite changing your diet, you
could consider taking a statin.