20 THENEWYORKER,M AY16, 2022
OBJECTIVE: To correct certain impres-
sions advanced by Hassan’s predecessor,
John Magufuli (nickname: the Bulldozer),
who largely closed off Tanzania to the
rest of the world and whose Covid strat-
egy centered on three days of national
prayer, after which he proclaimed, “The
Corona disease has been eliminated
thanks to God.” He died nine months
later, seemingly thanks to Covid. (Offi-
cial Tanzanian-government stance: heart
problems.) Hassan, who was vaccinated
publicly, is on a good-will tour of the
United States, declaring Tanzania again
open to visitors, investors, and science.
STRATEGY: Meet at Ritz-Carlton.
Hassan is incoming from Washington,
D.C., where she attended a summit with
Kamala Harris. In New York, she will
appear at the première of “The Royal
Tour,” a PBS program in which Hassan
guides the host, Peter Greenberg, around
her country for nine days—Zanzibar,
Serengeti, Ngorongoro, Kilimanjaro. She
hopes to attract American tourists. (Has-
san, to Harris: “This is where the lovers
and shakers of entertainment and lei-
sure reside.” Harris, to Hassan: “Indeed.”)
Rendezvous at Ritz bar with Green-
berg—short beard, jaunty smile—cre-
ator of “The Royal Tour,” in 2001. (“Back
in the days when the Travel Channel
actually did travel. Now they do ghosts.”)
Previous tour guides: Netanyahu, King
Abdullah II, Paul Kagame. “We turned
down Putin,” Greenberg says. “I don’t
want to see six-pack abs anymore.”
Smile at prodigious number of Tan-
zanian diplomats in the travelling party,
abortion. “She was fifty-three years old.
It was unviable,” he said. “I hope this
doesn’t sound weird, but I thought it was
really cool: Wow, my mom is having an
abortion!” That morning, he had called
his mother, who is ninety-seven. “She
was just completely undone when she
heard the news about the leaked draft.
She said, ‘You go to that rally for me.’ ”
Two women in their sixties, Sue and
Lori, wore matching green sweaters and
fanny packs. Sue, a retired pediatrician,
held up a sign shaped like a shield. “My
kids were really into cosplay, so this is
really Link, from ‘The Legend of Zelda,’
underneath,” she said. She had an abor-
tion in her twenties, when she was a
“nerdy medical student” in Pittsburgh.
“I was grateful that I was seen by clini-
cians who didn’t judge me, didn’t slut-
shame me. And that I was able to get
this taken care of and kept on my road
and followed my dream.” After med
school, she worked for the C.D.C. and
now has three children. She said,“I can’t
believe that we have to do this—”
“—again,” the friends said in unison.
A group called Abortion Access Front
had set up a “Primal Scream Station,”
with placards of the six conservative Jus-
tices’ faces. An employee named Molly
was dressed in a sequinned vulva cos-
tume. “This is my summer vulva out-
fit,” she said. “Unfortunately, we have to
do so much protesting that I have a win-
ter vulva outfit as well.” She yelled, “Step
right up! Be a primal screamer! Flip ’em
off!” Some women counted down from
three and screamed long and loud. Wob-
bling, Molly said, “That made me want
to have a cigarette—Jesus Christ!”
Sue, the retired pediatrician, partook.
As she and Lori left the square, she said,
“We exercised our right to scream.”
—Michael Schulman
1
VISITINGD I G N ITARY
MISSIONCREEP
M
ISSION: Her Excellency Samia
Suluhu Hassan, the sixth Presi-
dent of the United Republic of Tanza-
nia, and its first female head of state,
desires a stroll through Central Park.
who occupy three f loors of the Ritz.
(Greenberg: “Everybody wants to go
shopping.”) Do not be alarmed when
informed that the weather (chilly) and
probability of establishing a security pe-
rimeter in the Park (null) have persuaded
diplomats to reconsider stroll. Alterna-
tives: A drive through the Park? Vehi-
cles not permitted. A drive around the
Park? Wait for motorcade, police escort,
and brief halting of pedestrian traffic
along Central Park South. Watch men
with earpieces hold conversations until
one approaches and says, “She’s ready.”
ACTION SUMMARY: Hassan exits el-
evator, trailing assistants, and wearing
blazer and black-and-red hijab. Bear-
ing: dignified, with deadpan joke deliv-
ery. Accept President’s offer of fist bump.
Walk past armed officers to idling black
S.U.V., surrounded by more men with
earpieces. Hassan describes past trips to
New York. She confirms intel, re: dip-
lomatic visits and shopping. (She has
frequented “H&M, Zara, Calvin Klein.”)
S.U.V. heads uptown. Hassan appre-
ciates the varied vegetation and all the
people.“We have very few parks for peo-
ple to have fun,” she says. “Most of them
are game reserves and land reserves.” In-
form Hassan of New York’s own im-
pressive wild game: the Harlem deer,
the Central Park coyote. Hassan, amused,
says, “I think we should give you some
lions and rhinos and elephants.”
Hassan offers litany of her exploits
as Greenberg’s Tanzania tour guide: An-
imal sightings—her favorite, a leopard;
his, a warthog. (“I said, ‘You’re serious?’
They have ugly faces!”) Driving for the
first time in twenty years—stick shift!
“Ministers are not allowed to drive,” she
says. A fishing excursion near Hassan’s
home town, a village in Zanzibar called
Kizimkazi; they caught wahoo. “A fish
like this!” Hassan says, holding her arms
out wide. (Greenberg, later, under light
interrogation: “Do you want the real
story? When you’re the President, things
appear on your boat.”)
S.U.V. passes zoo. Presidential reac-
tion: underwhelmed. The Serengeti is
bigger. Hassan recounts gruelling film-
ing schedule. “They didn’t treat me as a
President,” she says. “I remember a point
where I stood in the grasses, and I was
fearful of the lions. And another time,
with the Maasai, where I nearly fainted.
It was dehydration.” She hopes it will
Samia Suluhu Hassan
