64 Chapter 3
(or parent substitutes) would want her to do. There are two aspects to Clarene’s Parent: the Critical
Parent and Nurturing Parent ego states.
Clarene’s Critical Parent consists of the controlling, directing aspects of her personality. This
ego state continues to regulate some of her thoughts, attitudes, and be hav iors and causes a feeling
of inadequacy. While growing up, Clarene was subjected to many critical directives and comments
about speech f luency, and those thoughts and feelings are still with her.
The Nurturing Parent ego state reduces anxiety and makes the Child feel comfortable and
loved. This part of Clarene’s personality provides comfort in much the same way as her actual
parents. Unfortunately, for Clarene, there are few nurturing statements from childhood about her
communication disorder.
The Adult part of Clarene’s personality is like a computer; it is unemotional and operates on
facts, statistics, and objective information. This ego state is in contact with real ity and can reevalu-
ate old messages imprinted on Clarene when she was a child. It tests the real ity of her current
thinking patterns and accepts or rejects the information learned earlier. In well- adjusted persons,
the Adult is fully developed by the early teens and begins the lifelong pro cess of assessing real-
ity. However, for Clarene, it took longer for her Adult to develop and examine the outdated early
information about speaking and stuttering and to assess it from the viewpoint of a mature woman.
With the benefit of counseling, she learned to reject the Adapted Child’s thoughts and feelings
about her speech. Transactional Analy sis taught her how to understand and reduce the feeling of
inferiority from which she suffered for so many years.
Clarene learned that without the benefit of an active Adult, outdated and unrealistic thoughts
can permeate a person’s life. The person who stutters can feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts
about speaking and other social activities that were learned as a child, and these patterned ways of
thinking can become strong habits. The Adult in Clarene’s personality allows her to reject those
thoughts and feelings about speaking and to adopt the belief that her speech is acceptable and
natu ral. She no longer allows herself to feel like that young girl who was subjected to so many nega-
tive attitudes in connection with speaking. Clarene simply makes the conscious (Adult) decision
that she and her speech are acceptable and natu ral and does not allow herself to be saturated with
embarrassment, shame, guilt, and anxiety about speaking.
Another benefit of Transactional Analy sis was learning that other persons also have
Parent, Adult, and Child aspects of their personalities. When communication transactions are
complementary— that is, when both parties communicate from the same ego states, such as
Child- Child, Adult- Adult, or Parent- Parent, or, for example, when the Adapted Child in one party
seeks the Nurturing Parent in the other— then the communication is satisfying and rewarding.
However, when uncomplementary or crossed transactions occur, communication breaks down
and both parties feel negative and misunderstood. Communication, the foundation of relation-
ships, becomes unsatisfying and unproductive.
Clarene understands that Transactional Analy sis does not work for all persons to address the
social and psychological aspects of stuttering. There are many counseling approaches and ways of
gaining insight into this potentially devastating communication disorder. However, for Clarene,