August• 2017 | 19from. People tend to find
important connections
between their voice and
someone significant
from their past. Once
you have done this,
you can begin to
identify where your
voice started and
separate it from your
own point of view.
The next step is
to change your
thoughts with the
following actions.
Q Challenge your critical inner
voice. The most important step to
silencing it is to respond to it from
a realistic and compassionate
perspective. Say aloud or write down
a more congenial, honest response
to each of your put-downs. Use ‘I’
statements. “I am a worthy person
with many good qualities. I have a lot
to offer.”
Q Connect your voice to your
actions. Your critical inner voice has
plenty of bad advice: “Don’t say
anything. No-one wants to hear what
you have to say.” As you learn to
recognise your critical inner voice,
you can start to catch on when it’s
starting to influence your behaviour.
Q Change your behaviour. Once
you see how the critical inner voice
nfluences your
behaviour, start to
consciously act
against it. The
process of ‘not
listening’ to your
nner critic and
trengthening your own
oint of view can be
plifting, but it can also
ause anxiety. The more
ou oppose the voice, the
eaker it will become.
Reflect on your negative
oughts to determine if
there is any truth to them.
It’s important to recognise that even
though there may be a kernel of truth
in a specific critical voice, nothing
can be gained by attacking yourself.
This not only fails to change a
behaviour you may dislike in yourself,
it also makes you feel bad, which
increases the likelihood that the
behaviour will recur.
The best strategy is to take an
objective and compassionate look at
any negative behaviour or traits you
have and work at changing them. To
a large extent, you have the power
to re-create yourself to become a
person you like and admire. There is
always anxiety as people grow, but it
is worthwhile to struggle through it to
come out the other end.in
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