Spider Magazine September 2017

h5GH฀#AN฀YOU฀JUST฀DROP฀ME฀

OFF฀AT฀#REEPY฀#RAWLERSv฀HE฀ASKED฀

4HAT฀WAS฀WHERE฀2EX฀GOT฀ALL฀HIS฀

AMPHIBIAN฀AND฀REPTILE฀SUPPLIES฀

"UT฀,ORA฀,EE฀DROVE฀RIGHT฀PAST฀IT

4HE฀YUCK

SEDO฀STORE฀SMELLED฀

WORSE THAN 2OBERT 2EX PRETENDED

TO฀HAVE฀A฀COUGHING฀FIT฀WHEN฀HE฀

WALKED฀IN฀,ORA฀,EE฀IGNORED฀HIM฀

3HE฀WENT฀STRAIGHT฀TO฀THE฀RACKS฀AND฀

STARTED฀LOOKING฀AT฀YELLOW฀TUXEDOS฀฀

)F฀SHE฀MADE฀HIM฀WEAR฀ONE฀OF฀THOSE฀

HE฀WOULD฀THROW฀UP฀FOR฀REAL฀,UCKILY฀

SHE฀PICKED฀A฀BLACK฀ONE

h,OOKv฀SHE฀SAID฀hIT฀HAS฀A฀TAILv

h'REAT
v฀SAID฀2EX฀h9OU฀WANT฀A฀

LIZARD฀AT฀YOUR฀WEDDINGv

4HE฀SALESMAN฀SLIPPED฀IT฀ON฀OVER฀

HIS฀3WAMP฀-ONSTER฀SHIRT฀2EX฀HAD฀฀

TO฀ADMIT฀IT฀DID฀LOOK฀PRETTY฀SHARP฀฀

*UST฀WHEN฀HE฀THOUGHT฀HE฀WAS฀SAFE฀

,ORA฀,EE฀PICKED฀OUT฀A฀PURPLE฀BOW฀฀

TIE฀AND฀HANDKERCHIEF

h4HESE฀WILL฀MATCH฀THE฀BOWS฀IN฀

2UBYS฀HAIRv฀SHE฀SAID฀2EX฀GROANED฀

h"UT฀DONT฀YOU฀DARE฀BLOW฀YOUR฀NOSE฀ON฀

THE฀HANDKERCHIEF฀)TS฀JUST฀FOR฀LOOKSv

h7HAT฀IF฀2OBERTS฀PERFUME฀MAKES฀

ME฀SNEEZEv฀SAID฀2EX฀,ORA฀,EE฀PRAC

TICALLY฀PUSHED฀HIM฀OUT฀OF฀THE฀STORE

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk(L$

4HE฀TUXEDO฀WENT฀INTO฀HIS฀CLOSET฀

IN฀A฀PLASTIC฀BAG฀h7E฀NEED฀TO฀KEEP฀฀

IT CLEANv SAID ,ORA ,EE

Yes sir, you' ll be bald,
with fewer legs, and
shrunk down to a stick,
but at least you' ll smell
good!

Andˆdon't forgetˆyou' ll

have nice new wings! Goodbye old Sam,

hello new Sam!

Uh... listen, gang, I'm

gonna be different when

I come out of this thing,

right? So I need you all to

promise me something.