8 Days — October 05, 2017

92

8 DAYS

boos & bravos BY DOUGLAS TSENG

BRAVO

to Jerry Before

Seinfeld (Netflix), Jerry

Seinfeld’s first comedy special in 19

years — and the first of a reported

US$100 million (S$135 mil) deal

with Netflix — where the stand-up icon

returns to New York’s The Comic Strip, the club where

he began his career in the mid-1970s. During the

hour-long set, he talks about his childhood, his early

days as a comic, and other kooky observations about

life. All the jokes, by the way, are hand-written on legal

pads — something he’s been doing since 1975 —

and filed away in an accordion folder, and he’s written

enough of them to literally fill up a long Manhattan

side street. Here are

some of our fave jokes

from the show. (FYI: If

you have an urge to

re-watch Seinfeld, it’s

available on Amazon

Prime Video.)

“Anything ’20 minutes’ is a lie. Anytime someone

says, ‘I’ll be there in 20 minutes’, ‘takes 20 minutes’, ‘I

thought you said you’d be there in 20 minutes?’ No one

knows what 20 minutes is.”

“I go through Customs and the guy asks me, ‘Do you

have any alcohol? Any drugs?’ Is this an effective

interrogation? Is anyone going, ‘Bingo, you got me,

I didn’t see that question coming. 20 kilos right

there.’”

“What I do not comprehend is how we ended up

with the elephant and the donkey as the two mascot

animals for only two major political parties. You’ve got

the whole animal kingdom here.”

“I don't like magicians. I’ve worked with many

magicians in my many years in the nightclub business.

I don’t like their attitude. A little full of themselves, a

little arrogant. ‘I come on, I fool you, you feel stupid,

show’s over.’ Never explain, you never understand.

That's how they do it.”

“Somebody gave me the [middle] finger...on my way,

which I don't care about. I don’t understand even

why the finger is the finger. Someone picks one of

their fingers, they show it to me, I’m supposed to feel

bad. Bad finger. This is a good finger (pointing to the

thumb), right? I always try and remember, if I get this

finger, I’m one finger away from a compliment, so... it's

not that bad.”