Creative Nonfiction - Fall 2017

CREATIVE NONFICTION 33

WINNER!

Best Essay

Prize

RACHEL WILKINSON is a

Pittsburgh-based writer and

researcher whose essays and

profiles have appeared in

the Atlantic, Smithsonian,

Narratively, the Rumpus, and

other publications. She earned

her Master of Fine Arts in

nonfiction from the University

of Pittsburgh.

ome people go running or meditate; they recite man-

tras or affirmations, carry pictures of the saints. My brother

used to keep one of those mini Zen rock gardens in his room as

a teenager, turning over his thoughts as he raked the sand back

and forth. But for me, there’s nothing like pouring anxious

feelings into an empty search bar, posing questions too big for

any one person to answer.

Some questions I’ve asked Google, between the ages of eleven

and twenty-six, in roughly chronological order:

• Why did my cat die?


• How do I talk to people?


• Why don’t my parents understand me?


• Who shot JFK?


• Do I have a brain tumor?


• Why isn’t love enough?


• Will I ever stop grieving?


• Why are there seasons?


• Why do cats purr?


• How do I know what I’m worth?


• Will I ever be a good writer?


• Should I be studying philosophy?


• Why was Nietzsche such an asshole?

S

RACHEL WILKINSON

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