is dinner-party-worthy? Still somewhat
enamored of your own story, you’re happy
to oblige, after the inevitable glance at
each other (who’s got this?), the inevitable
writerly pondering of what to include,
where to begin.Faced with telling their unconventional
tale of cross-cultural, middle-aged
romance, she relies on a standard
form—a ritual—to give shape to what
might otherwise seem shapeless.
Step one, according to Adiele: “Begin
at a pivotal moment.”
From there, she makes the form her
plaything; she is as digressive and poetic
as she cares to be. That playfulness
acknowledges her facility for crafting
a crowd-pleasing narrative out of the
most personal experience—a nod to the
essayist’s gift and burden.
Research in neuroscience supports
the conclusion that rituals—not
just religious rituals, but also the
secular kind, including list-making,
daily journaling, and other writerly
tools—really do work. At the very
least, they work to ground us and to
comfort us. Mourning rituals can lessen
feelings of grief, for example. And I’d
suggest that the weird rituals you need
to perform before you write—most of
us have them—may truly help you to
focus your attention and prepare your
brain for the experience. Some people
feel guilty about procrastination, but
I encourage my writing students to
see it as part of the process. Build your
particular mode of procrastination
into your writing ritual, and you may
begin to see it not as an evasion but as a
necessary part of your practice—which
it is.
For an artist and a writer, being
uncomfortable with a ritual can be
equally fruitful, a source of creativetension. Not everyone will agree with
me that contemplating the death of
Jesus is a comfort. People who suffer
from post-traumatic stress disorder
may be retraumatized by Lenten rituals
and traditional Christian devotions.
But just think how different an essay
would look from each perspective, and
how the same ritual might serve as a
frame for the exploration of two vastly
different experiences.JESSICA MESMAN GRIFFITH is the author
of the memoirs Love and Salt and Strange
Journey and a cultural columnist for US
Catholic magazine. She’s the cofounder and
editorial director of Sick Pilgrim, a website
and online community for artists and spiritual
seekers, and a co-organizer of the Trying to
Say God Conference at the University of Notre
Dame. She teaches at Christian Theological
Seminary in Indianapolis.