Cosmopolitan South Africa — January 2018

REPORT

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

addictionistheeasiestto

hide.It’ssociallyacceptable

to be on your phone and

be constantly engaged

on social media apps. To

make matters worse, I work

in social media marketing, so

I could excuse my obsessive

usageevenmore.Asaresult,

it wasn’t my social media

addiction that landed me in

rehabforthefirsttimebut

my drug addiction, which

wasbecomingobviousto

my partner and parents.

My husband threatened

toleavemeandmyfamily

to disown me if I didn’t

get clean.

‘Atage22,Ichecked

into Margate’s South

Coast Recovery Centre,

not far from Durban. I was

treated for drug and alcohol

addiction, but I was in denial

about the role social media

played.Aspartofmy

therapy,Iwrotealetter

to my partner telling him

about the affairs. It didn’t

occurtomethenthatthe

affairs – like the alcohol and

drugs–wereasymptomof

adeeperaddictiontosocial

media.Igotcleanin2009

and my husband forgave

me.But,undiagnosedand

untreated, my social media

addiction lurked on.

‘Igotbacktomylife...

andbacktomysocialmedia

habits.Soitwasnosurprise

thatIrelapsedsevenyears

later,andlandedinhospital

after accidentally overdosing.

Back on social media and

triggeringtherestofmy

addictive behaviour, I stood

little chance of staying clean.

‘By 2016, social media

addiction was more widely

recognised.Thistime,back

in rehab, we analysed my

behavioural patterns more

closely. That’s when my

social media addiction

wasidentified–itwas

theonerecurringthing

‘I got my fi rst phone

when I was 14. By the

age of 22, I was in rehab.

Hi, I’m Robyn*, and I’m

a social media addict.

‘My addiction started

in 2001 when I became

obsessed with chatting

to people online. As social

platforms expanded, so did

my addiction. If I posted

something on Instagram

or Facebook, I’d have an

expectation that someone

would react to it. Waiting

for a like or a comment

was like waiting for a drug

dealer to deliver my next fi x.

‘What I’d post or who

I’d chat to controlled me.

I was driven by the next

connection I’d make, or by

the affi rmation I’d get from

the next selfi e. This led me

to start online conversations

• for example, via Facebook
  Messenger – with people
  who liked and commented
  on my pics. Even though
  I was married to an incredible
  partner by this time, I began
  chatting more often to these
  strangers. So began my fi rst
  affair; then another. By the
  time I hit rehab when I was
  22, my addiction had driven
  me to have four affairs.
  ‘Because of the affairs,
  I began drinking – a lot.
  After connecting with
  people online, I’d plan to
  meet them. But on online
  platforms, you can project
  a different version of yourself.
  So I’d drink to buoy my
  confi dence for meeting IRL.

A SOCIALLY

ACCEPTA BL E

ADDICTION

‘Then came the shame.

I was happily married; why

was I cheating? Suddenly,

my social media addiction

wasn’t just driving alcohol

addiction, but drug addiction

too – to cope with the guilt.

Of all of these, social media

that I relied on for self-

acceptance and validation.

STAYING CLEAN

‘Living with an addiction

is all about management.

Since I use social media

for work, swearing off it

wasn’t an option. Instead,

working with the rehab

professionals and my

husband, we set up

rules for my usage.

I still stick to these

rules today. I only

use social media during

certain times, and I limit

my usage by changing

my phone settings to

cut off data to certain

apps and platforms. I also

have accountability partners

who can access all of my tech.

I’ve installed reporting and

tracking software across all

my devices, and I know that

my accountability partners

can view my browser

history, contacts and

messages, how often

I’m posting and so on.

‘I’ve also identifi ed

my trigger points – things

to avoid on social media.

They include posting selfi es,

which had been particularly

obsessive for me.

‘Social media nearly

destroyed me. I’m so

incredibly grateful that

I’ve been given another

chance to rebuild my life.’

A DIGITAL DRUG

Social media addiction

reads like a cold, hard

drug problem. ‘Social

media affects the part of

your brain that releases

dopamine,’ says Nicole

Booysen, a counsellor at

Jo’burg’s Eden Recovery

Centre, which offers a

social media addiction

rehab programme. ‘It’s a

neurotransmitter released

when you experience

unexpected pleasure.

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