Murder Most Foul – July 2018

Crime writer Richard Klinkhamer

in his trademark Panama hat.

Left, his wife Hannelore

Crime Thriller – Or Murder Confession? Murder Most Foul 49

W

IRY BESPECTACLED publisher
Willem Donker tossed the
manuscript on the desk. “I’m
sorry, Richard, but this won’t do.”
Crime writer Richard Klinkhamer,
54, looked confused, “Whyever not?” he
asked. “It’s very graphic.”
“Indeed,” said Donker. “A bit too
graphic. Four ways to get away with
killing your wife? Can you be serious?
Isn’t it a bit contentious, bearing in
mind the disappearance of your own
wife last year?”
“Bearing in mind all I’ve been
through,” Klinkhamer said, “It’s only
reasonable I should speculate on what
someone in a similar position might
have done.”
Donker pushed his spectacles up to
the bridge of his nose. He looked the
enfant terrible of his house straight in
those impassive eyes – not so much
windows to the soul in Klinkhamer’s
case as screens of artifice. He knew how
Klinkhamer liked to tease.

English. Mincing Day equates to Budget

Day in the UK. It’s the day when

the government reviews its finances

• considered a day of reckoning for
  ministers. Each of them is “put through
  the mincer” by the opposition.
  The phrase has slipped into everyday
  language to mean a precise, detailed
  analysis of a problem.

K

linkhamer’s wife Hannelore, 43,

had been reported missing from the

ECCENTRIC WRITER SHOCKS A NATION

“Did you kill her?” Donker asked

“I’m not ready to talk about it yet,”

Klinkhamer said cryptically. His eyes

glanced down at the manuscript.

It was oddly titledWoensdag Gehaktdag

(Wednesday: Mincing Day). The phrase

has more meaning in Dutch than in

CRIME THRILLER – OR

MURDER CONFESSION?

The publisher asked

his writer: was he

serious in describing

ways to murder a

wife after his own

had gone missing?

Case report by

DONALD CARNE

Klinkhamer home in Ganzedijk, near

Groningen, in 1991. Klinkhamer said he

discovered her red bicycle at the railway

station. He hadn’t seen her for six days.

Of course, he was a suspect. He was

hauled in for questioning, his home

searched, his garden turned over. Sniffer

dogs were used and a Royal Dutch Air

Force F-16 fighter even flew over the

grounds with an infra-red detector.

Nothing was found.

So was the title of his latest

manuscript a tease, Donker thought?

Mincing Day? One of the four scenarios

involved Klinkhamer feeding his wife’s

flesh through a mincer and scattering

the outcome to the pigeons. All it

needed was a big arrow with the word

“CLUE” on it – unless it was all a

double-bluff. That was something else

Klinkhamer was good at. “God, my

head hurts,” Donker thought.