New Zealand Listener - November 5, 2016

NOVEMBER 5 2016 http://www.listener.co.nz

Move over,

Adrian Mole

Retirees rebel against

convention in this

anarchic Dutch treat.

by CHRIS MOORE

A

ll is not well in a North Amsterdam

care home. An unknown psycho-

path is using lumps of stale cake to

murder the fish in the third-floor

fish tank. Mrs Schreuder has accidentally

hoovered her pet canary into oblivion and

there are mutinous mumblings among

some of the residents about the introduc-

tion of “Do not resuscitate” bracelets.

Throughout his long life, one inhabit-

ant of this small world, Hendrik Groen,

has always chosen the path of least

confrontation. No longer, as he begins a

secret diary to reveal all about a place that

straddles the line between benign dictator-

ship and boarding school.

Life for the institution’s director, Mrs

Stelwagen, is about to become interesting.

A small group of residents, including our

hero, is determined not to go quietly into

that good night. The Old-But-Not-Dead

Club (membership strictly limited) is

formed with the prime purpose of sabo-

taging corporate care policies, demolishing

conventional attitudes towards growing

old, giving people stick and having a fine

time in the process.

Don’t expect a profound read. This is

primarily fun, and its success perhaps

reflects a contemporary obsession with

age and being “old”, a label slapped on

individuals at increasingly lower ages. For

the New Zealand media, 60 is routinely

described as “elderly”, something that

may reflect the fact that the average age

of most journalists is around 22. But, as a

60-something, I digress ...

The book has been on the Dutch

bestseller lists for 30 weeks, has sold more

than 40,000 copies in the Netherlands

and has been translated into 20 languages.

That speaks volumes about (a) the subject

matter, and (b) the fact that it’s beguiling,

amusing and entertaining. The Dutch

have a word to describe its prevailing

mood: gezelligheid, meaning good-natured

and convivial. In other words, a perfect

match with the spirit shown by Hendrik

and his co-conspirators as they take on

Mrs Stelwagen.

The identity of the author behind this

anarchic Dutch treat is unknown, but

that doesn’t really matter. Whoever he or

she is (and there is considerable conjec-

ture that it is either a very famous Dutch

author or politician – or both), they write

with tongue firmly in cheek, tempered by

moments of tenderness.

Hendrik quickly endears himself to

the reader. He rebels against smothering

authority, falls in love, is frustrated by his

increasing physical limitations but never

loses his earthy humour or stubborn

determination to retain his individual-

ity. He even wears a showy gold bow tie

purchased in a party shop. Together with

the members of the OBND Club, he cuts

a wondrous swathe through life and the

occasional sad death. If this book is any

indication, old rebels, like old ruins, can

indeed be charming.

Hendrik’s secret diary should be made

compulsory reading in every rest home

and retirement village. Who knows? It

might start a movement. l

THE SECRET DIARY OF HENDRIK GROEN,

83¼ YEARS OLD, by Hendrik Groen (Michael

Joseph, $37)

IN CINEMAS NOW

RATING TBC

++++

ìINTELLIGENT,

DEEPLY HEARTFELT AND

ONE OF THE BEST FILMS

OF THE YEARî

• THE OBSERVER

++++

ìA HYPNOTISING AND

BEAUTIFULLY TOLD

LOVE STORYî

• TORONTO SUN

++++

• THE GUARDIAN

++++

• THE INDEPENDENT