The Washington Post - USA (2022-05-26)

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ly new to us, we have enough

experience with similar things

that our nervous system doesn’t

react to it as if it’s completely new.”

But picky eaters lack that con-

text. “That can be what’s so frus-

trating,” Zickgraf said. “On a con-

scious level, they know it’s safe,

but their nervous system is acting

as if it’s not.” So if you’re a picky

eater who wants to change, you’ll

need to deliberately expose your-

self to new foods — because, as

Zickgraf said, “you can’t really

think your way out of it.” Here’s

how to get started.

Choose compassion

Many adult picky eaters strug-

gle with public shame and social

isolation, said Nancy Zucker, a

professor of psychiatry and behav-

ioral sciences at Duke University

and director of the Duke Center

for Eating Disorders.

As a first step, she suggests

opening up about your picky eat-

ing when dining with others, al-

lowing yourself to feel heard and

understood. Give yourself “points

just for having an experience with

food,” she said, rather than beat-

ing yourself up if you don’t like

something.

Keira Oseroff, a psychothera-

pist and faculty member with the

nonprofit Ellyn Satter Institute,

agrees that “shame has never been

an effective motivator.” She en-

dorses creating small, attainable

goals, because changing eating

patterns can take months or years.

“Patience is key,” she said.

Pick foods to learn about

Next, make a list of foods to try,

said Jennifer Thomas, co-director

of the Eating Disorders Clinical

and Research Program at Massa-

chusetts General Hospital and co-

author of “The Picky Eater’s Re-

covery Book.” Choose foods that

could help you socially and nutri-

tionally. (Sorry, but that probably

means vegetables.)

For example, Thomas said,

many adult picky eaters prioritize

salad, because it’s such a busi-

ness dinner staple. With a multi-

ingredient dish like that, take the

fancy restaurant approach and de-

construct it. Put lettuce, tomatoes

and olive oil on your list, getting

used to each item’s individual

taste before mixing them together.

And if you can’t stand the

thought of, say, broccoli, leave it

off the list. “Luckily, there’s like

100 vegetables,” Thomas said, “so

just pick another one.”

Be Switzerland

Once you’ve got your list of

foods, select five to try over

the next week. Thomas suggested

initially sampling fruits and veg-

etables raw, because cooking

them can intensify their flavors,

but do whatever makes you most

comfortable.

In a low-stakes environment

(perhaps alone, at home), place

the foods in front of you and de-

scribe how each one looks, feels

and smells, doing your best to

avoid negative language. Instead

of calling kale “gross,” for example,

say: “It’s green and leafy, with an

earthy smell.”

Zickgraf advised keeping your

face neutral, too. That’s because

the universal disgusted face — you

know, the one with the scrunched-

up nose — is a physiological re-

sponse meant to protect us, again,

from consuming toxins. “It pre-

pares you to spit out whatever’s in

your mouth,” she said.

Try, then try again

Take a deep breath, then take a

bite. Describe it. If you can, take

another bite; if you can’t, try again

the next day, and the next. Re-

search has shown that infants

need about seven to 12 exposures

before they’ll start eating a new

food regularly. “You can’t really

expect to be able to form an opin-

ion about it on the first try. That’s

just not how omnivores work,”

Zickgraf said.

“Continuing to have little tastes

repeatedly should build familiari-

ty, which helps to build liking,”

Thomas said. She compared it to

hearing a new song on the radio:

The first time, you might hate it,

but by the fifth time, you might be

singing along.

After your initial exposure, it

might also help to sample the food

in other ways: Try mixing it with

things you enjoy (adding blueber-

ries to cereal), using condiments

(dipping carrots in ranch dress-

ing) and experimenting with

preparation methods (roasting vs.

steaming).

Keep tasting

As you work through your list,

remember that you don’t have to

love something to add it to your

diet. There are other reasons to

put a food into regular rotation:

convenience, variety, nutritional

value.

But if you really hate a food

after 10 tries, Thomas grants you

permission to give up. “You have

to kiss a lot of toads before you can

find your prince,” she said. The

good news about kissing toads is it

should only get easier. In Thom-

as’s experience, the more new

foods patients add to their reper-

toires, the more their fear of unfa-

miliar foods decreases.

That’s certainly true of Tet-

reault. Although her quest to ex-

pand her diet is ongoing (and she

still doesn’t eat cucumbers), she

said confronting her picky eating

has been “life-changing.” Since

starting therapy, she has taken

business trips to Peru and Moroc-

co, without panicking about what

she’s going to eat. “For some peo-

ple, it might seem very small,” she

said. “For me, it’s been huge.”

Susan Shain is a freelance journalist

based in Brooklyn.

BY SUSAN SHAIN

The cucumber was the final

straw.

Prodded by her mother to try it,

Jacqui Tetreault, then 19, had a

“full-blown panic attack.” It was

the culmination of years of being

labeled a picky eater, years of be-

ing pressured to taste new foods

and feeling her family’s and her

own disappointment when she re-

fused or didn’t enjoy them.

“I want to like salad,” said

Tetreault, now 28 and a luxury

travel planner in Boston. “I want

to like all this food. I just don’t.

Even if I try it, I just don’t like it.

And there’s this deep sense of

shame of, like, I can’t be what I

want and what everyone else

wants.”

Although Tetreault had been a

picky eater her whole life — jok-

ingly calling herself a “breadetari-

an” with an internal “iron wall”

that slammed shut at the prospect

of new foods — she’d never had a

panic attack before the cucumber

incident. So she decided to seek

professional help, and eventually

began receiving therapy for

avoidant/restrictive food intake

disorder (ARFID).

Many people with ARFID eat

fewer than 20 foods, mostly carbs

and dairy. Although ARFID is on

the polar end of the picky-eating

spectrum, affecting about 0.3 per-

cent to 3 percent of the popula-

tion, moderate pickiness is much

more common. According to

Hana Zickgraf, an assistant pro-

fessor of psychology who studies

eating behavior at the University

of South Alabama, roughly 30 per-

cent of people identify as picky.

Evolution played a big part in

that. As omnivores, we’re “biologi-

cally prepared to reject really nov-

el foods the first couple times” we

try them, to prevent us from in-

gesting toxic substances, Zickgraf

said. It’s no accident we reach the

height of pickiness around 2 years

old, soon after we’ve gained the

motor control and chewing skills

required to wander and potential-

ly consume things we shouldn’t.

Although we generally pass

through our peak picky phase

around age 5 or 6, some people do

so less completely. Zickgraf said

nature, rather than nurture, is

probably to blame, with potential

factors including heightened sen-

sory and disgust sensitivity, as

well as cognitive rigidity.

Whatever the cause, one thing

is clear: Picky eating produces

more picky eating.

As non-picky eaters age, they

try more and more foods, expo-

nentially increasing those their

body recognizes as safe. As a re-

sult, Zickgraf said, “even if we

come across a combination of

tastes and textures that’s relative-

Are you a picky eater? Expand your palate with these tips.

Wellness

ISTOCK

Psychotherapist Keira Oseroff suggests creating s mall, attainable goals, because changing eating patterns can take months or years.