UPFROnT
But I absolutely loved Bob Wilson and
Frank McLintock... two hearts of gold.
What’s the most important piece of
memorabilia that you have or wish
you still had?
I have a copper cannon that fires real
cannonballs [above] – it’s ace, I love it.
Lee Dixon sent me some lovely signed
posters and memorabilia. I was going
to say shirts, but none of them fit now.
I gave them to an Oxfam in Tottenham.
I’m very choice in my selections. Oddly,
whenever I do gigs, people give me old
programmes in plastic bags from the
’50s and ’60s – I’m fascinated by them.
Who’s your current favourite player?
I like tough fellas like Tierney as they’re
vital. Defenders aren’t ballet dancers –
there’s skill in a tackle without giving
away a foul. I love those moments in
a match. He has in-depth loyalties; he
came from that working-class thing.
We’re not all one way: he did well with
Celtic and shouldn’t be ashamed about
that. Be proud, he’s Celtic and Arsenal.
If you could drop yourself into your
all-time five-a-side team, who would
you be playing alongside?
You’ve not seen me play! It’s grim but
now and again I’m like an anvil – the
ball will hit me and go in. It’d have to
be four of the most industrious workers
to compensate for me. Bob Wilson in
goal; I’d have George Armstrong and
I love George Graham – he’d solidify
things. Then Patrick Vieira, an incredible
talent. You’d build a team around him.
Who else should we interview here?
I’m not into the celebrity world. A few
years ago, Liam and Noel [Gallagher]
said they were Man City but watched
Arsenal... I loved that. I’d say Idris Elba
[a fellow Gooner]. He’d be the greatest
James Bond because he’s a fantastic
actor. He’s someone I could sit down
and have a good laugh with – he’s got
all the right cylinders working.
Richard Purden
Public Image Limited will be touring the
UK in June – visit pilofficial.com for info
As career paths go, Charlie Pomroy’s has been an
unusual one. Once a comic in sleepy Hertfordshire,
he’s now in Siem Reap at the age of 37, coaching
and owning a club in Cambodia’s second division.
In his youth, Pomroy was a promising player who
worked his way up to Dunstable Town, but quit at 21
to look at coaching. “I was a decent
defender and people said I’d be the
next Colin Hendry,” he tells FFT with
a chuckle. “But I felt my strength
was in reading the game, so I was
drawn to coaching.”
Pomroy (whose actual name is
Darren, confusingly) became the
football development officer at
local club Stevenage but still felt
something was missing, so took
the obvious next step: building
a budding career as a comedian.
That was until wanderlust took over and he bought
a one-way ticket to India, then headed to Thailand,
Malaysia and Cambodia. There was less demand for
a Stevenage-centric stand-up set in southeast Asia- Graham Westley gags probably wouldn’t work – so
Pomroy performed various jobs, including sous-chef
at a restaurant, before football was his focus again.
He put down roots in Siem Reap, Cambodia’s second
city, and launched Next Step FC – a club dedicated to
providing pathways for players, such as university and
exchange placements. He was then offered his first
head coach job at Soltilo Angkor – a Japanese-owned
team with ex-Milan man Keisuke Honda as chairman,
with a name inspired by local landmark Angkor Wat.
Pomroy spent two spells there, the second ending
when he was fired without warning, despite a string
of positive results. “To rub it in, they even asked me to
take the morning training session after they’d sacked
me,” he smiles. “So I decided to turn
Next Step FC into a professional club.”
In late January, the new Cambodian
League 2 invited applications for sides.
Next Step were one of 14 fighting for
12 spots – as Pomroy readied his men
for a play-off, they were shocked to find
that the new League 2 fixture list had
been released and their name was on it.
The season was starting in a couple of
weeks and the transfer window was shut.
With just $500 of severance pay behind
him and no time to find sponsors, Pomroy was facing
Mission Impossible. “It’s tough training when you’re
also working out how to pay for the bus,” he laments.
Predictably, Next Step have struggled, and propped
up the standings after losing a grudge match against
Soltilo Angkor, but they’ll battle on. “This club means
something,” insists Pomroy. “But one day I’m sure I’ll
do a comedy show about it, and it’ll be called ‘How
not to build a football club’.” That’s if Farhad Moshiri
hasn’t beaten him to it...
Paul WatsonA stand-up has jetted to Asia to take charge of a second division team
COMEDIAn TO CAMBODIA
FourFourTwo July 2022 21