52 February 2016 FourFourTwo.com
It wasn’t all plain sailing at Middlesbrough,
though, was it?
Indeed not. We got relegated out of what’s
now the Championship in 1985-86, then the
club went bust with the Ayresome Park gates
locked. But what looked like being the end of
Boro proved to be the start of something very
special, with Steve Gibson as chairman and
Bruce Rioch as manager. We won promotion
at the first attempt, then went up again into
the top flight – something I consider an even
greater achievement than Leicester winning
the title [in 2015-16]. The squad was made
up of local lads – I was one of two ‘foreigners’
along with Archie Stephens, who came from
Liverpool. Youngsters like Gary Pallister, Tony
Mowbray and Stuart Ripley could have walked
away from Boro at the time, but within that
squad there was loyalty, a bond and passion
that was incredible. None of that kissing the
badge stuff, just a genuine love for the club.Despite being a lethal goalscorer, you had
a few run-ins with your managers...
I’m very much my own man, don’t follow the
crowd and like to voice my opinion on things- that’s why I was so successful working on
a radio show for years! I believe I’m a decent,
charitable human being, although I can also
be confrontational and will stick up for myself.
I liked Bruce Rioch but it wasn’t all sweetness
and light, and I also fell out with Colin Todd –
and especially Lennie Lawrence, too.
You’re on record as saying you never liked
managers, but that’s not strictly true, is it?
Bruce Rioch was dubbed ‘Gaddafi’ and wasn’t
everyone’s cup of tea, but for all the rows we
had, he brought the best out of me. He was
ruthless, a dictator and had a temper on him,
but I loved the bloke.You’re a teetotaller. There can’t have been
many of you around in the ’80s and ’90s?
Too right. The Boro lads thought I was kidding
when I said I didn’t drink, considering I came
from a Glasgow council estate. I didn’t need
alcohol to have fun. I liked going to nightclubs
with the best of them. I volunteered to drive,
but invariably I was the last to leave because
I was having a good time. Gary Pallister was
a social animal too, and while he liked a drink,
he’d often get away with it if he was with me.Despite being a proud Scot, you were one
of many players Jack Charlton recruited for
Ireland because of your family background.
You scored on your debut but earned only
seven caps – was that a disappointment?
No, as I was 28 when I received my first cap.
Scotland boss Andy Roxburgh had said I was
in his thoughts, but Big Jack approached me
and said that if I committed to Ireland, he’d
give me two friendlies – and if I played well,
I’d go to the 1990 World Cup. I knew he was
straight as a die, so it was good enough for
me. I know he got a bit of stick for exploiting
the parents and grandparents rule, but if you
look at football now, everyone’s doing it. Jack
was years ahead of his time. Had he been in
charge today, Declan Rice and Jack Grealish
would be playing for the Republic.What was Italia 90 like?
There were three people I’d always wanted
to meet – Nelson Mandela, Morrissey and His
Holiness The Pope. Well, one of them is dead,
but I got to meet John Paul II, who was one
of the greatest popes in history. Like a lot of
the Irish squad at the time, I’m a practising
Catholic, so when we arrived in Rome ahead
of our quarter-final against Italy, getting the
chance to meet the Pope was a tremendous
honour. We sat right at the front for his daily
audience inside the Vatican, and afterwards
were invited to have a photograph taken with
him. Jack and Packie Bonner shook his hand
and I was a few feet away, but the next day
I was in every newspaper because of the way
it had been cropped. It looked like it was just
myself and the manager talking to the Pope!Tony Cascarino claims you rang home every
night at the World Cup to talk to your dog...
That’s true and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
I’ve always loved animals – I’ve got two Irish
setters sitting in front of me as I speak. When
I called my missus, I’d tell her to put the dogs
on – I’d get more sense out of them! [Laughs]Do you regret never playing for a bigger
club than Middlesbrough?
I should have left before they decided to get
rid of me. I’d love to have played for Celtic,
my boyhood club. I’d have swapped 50 Boro
goals for the winner in an Old Firm derby. My
late dad would have loved it. Funnily enough,
quite a few of my Boro team-mates did play
for Celtic – Andy Payton, Tony Mowbray, Willie
Falconer – but the bloke who bled green and
white never did. I eventually joined Port Vale
and played at Wembley twice, winning one
and losing one. I’d also played in Boro’s first
ever game there in the long-forgotten Zenith
Data Systems Cup – we lost 1-0 to Chelsea.Finally, you used to have the most famous
backside in football. Tell us more...
That was during Bryan Robson’s time as Boro
boss. I’d retired and was doing a radio show.
We were about to play at Old Trafford, where
we hadn’t won in the league for 68 years. My
co-presenter predicted an away win, so I said
if that happened, I’d bare my buttocks in the
window of a local Binns store. I thought I was
on safe ground but Boro won 3-2, and at the
next home game the fans chanted, “Bernie,
Bernie, show us your arse.” So I was left with
little choice but to do the deed. I wore a kilt
with the 3-2 scoreline written on my cheeks...You were born in Switzerland to Spanish
parents from Madrid. Who did you support,
Real or Atletico?
I’m the youngest of five kids and the only one
born in Switzerland. The Franco regime they
lived under in Spain was a brutal dictatorship
and they managed to escape. My parents left
everything behind. My father was raised next
to the Bernabeu stadium, so he was fanatical
about Real Madrid – which meant I was too.
In the 1970s and ’80s, the only time I could
see them was when Swiss television showed
the European Cup games.Under Roy Hodgson, Switzerland qualified
for Euro 96 and you played in the opening
match against England, a 1-1 draw. What
do you remember about that day?
Roy put Swiss football on the map – he took
Switzerland to their first World Cup in about
30 years in 1994. England had Alan Shearer
and Paul Gascoigne, and people thought we
had no chance. I don’t think England took us
seriously, but if you watch the game again,
we actually had a decent chance of winning.You studied for a degree at Zurich Business
School. Was your plan to go into business
or did football always come first?
I was 16 and playing football and ice hockey.
My mother told me to forget about a football
career, and I nearly cried. She wanted me to
experience a real education. Representatives
from Grasshoppers sat down with my parents
and I translated, as they only spoke Spanish
and Italian. They insisted that if I was joining
Grasshoppers, I needed to get an education
at the same time. I thought my chance had
gone, but the club arranged for me to study
business administration and finance as well
as continuing my football education.Interview Simon YaffeThe Swiss chats Serie A glory
days, trying to buy Pompey –
and running for FIFA’s top jobRAMOn VEGA
“THE SPURS PHYSIO
GAVE ME A DAVID
LLOYD CARD AnD
SAID TO GO THERE –
I THOUGHT HE MUST
HAVE BEEn JOKInG!”
94 July 2022 FourFourTwo