LaughterHe barrels through the next red
light, and the passenger screams,
“Stop doing that!”
“I’m telling you, my brother does
this all the time.”
They approach the next light.
Just when it turns green, the driver
slams on the brakes. The confused
passenger asks, “You just ran two red
lights; why’d you stop at a green?”
“I had to,” says the driver.
“My brother might have been coming.”
SUBMITTED BY DAVID MASELLA
Rice is Nice
Tips for beginner cooks:
know your ratios!
- 1/2 cup uncooked rice
= 2 cups cooked rice - 1 cup uncooked rice
= 5 cups cooked rice - 2 cups uncooked rice
= 14 cups cooked rice - 3 cups uncooked rice
= 68 cups cooked rice - 4 cups uncooked rice
= 1036 cups cooked rice. @llw902
Urban Cowboys
ME:This town ain’t big enough...
GUNSLINGER:Yeah, yeah, for
the two of us.
ME:No, I mean in general.
There isn’t enough infrastructure
to support the population.
GUNSLINGER:You know what?
You’re right.
[We begin urban planning.]
@ThugRaccoons
WORKING LIKE A DOG
A salesperson stops by to see
one of his business customers.
Not a soul is in the office
except a beagle emptying
waste paper bins.“I’ll be finished in a few
minutes,” the beagle says.“Incredible!” exclaims the
man. “Does your boss know
what a prize he has in you?
An animal that can talk!”Alarmed, the beagle drops
a bin. “No, don’t tell him!”
he pleads. “If he finds out
I can talk, he’ll make me
answer the phones, too!”
benefitspro.com69