October• 2018 | 57
LIFE WELL LIVED
O
ne afternoon a few
months before Tom
and I were to be
married, Max wan-
dered into the din-
ing room where I
was sorting through a box of old pho-
tographs.Hetossedanorangefoam
ball over and over, and didn’t look at
me; he just focused completely on the
ball. Soon he began to twirl around af-
ter each toss, catching the spongy ball
behind his back.hen he bounced the
ball of the wall, then of the ceiling.
“Nice moves,” I said.
No reply. Wall. Ceiling. Twirl. Wall.
“Whatcha doin’?” he inally asked.
“Justtryingtoorganisesomeofmy
pictures,”Isaid.
In my months of living with them,
I’d learned to let Max, who was all
of seven, come close on his own. If I
crowded him or moved too quickly, he
skittered away. If I was patient though,
we often ended up playing, laughing
and, recently, even snuggling on the
couch with a book or a TV show.
“Who’s that?” he asked, peeking
around my shoulder.
“My mum when she was young.”
“What’sshesittingon?”
“Apapermoon.heyusedtohave
them at fairs and carnivals. People
likedtoposeforpicturesonthem.”
“hat’sdumb.Itdoesn’t even look
like a real moon.”
“Afterthewedding,Isupposeshe’ll
be your grandma Sylvia.”
“Cool.” Wall. Ceiling. Wall. Wall.
Twirl. He caught the ball and then si-
dled up beside me, leaning his warm
body against my arm and pressing
a dirt-smudged finger on another
photo. “Who will that be to me?”
“hatwasmygrandfather,theone
whodiedafewmonthsago.”
Maxshruggedandresumedhis
tossing, this time switching hands.
Right.Left.Right.“Ialreadygota
grandfather,” he said, not unkindly.
“Lotsofkidshavetwograndpas.
I guess my grandfather would have
been your great-grandfather.”
“Hmm.Toobadhehadtodie.
Icouldausedoneofthose.”
Death is always a barbed topic, but
is particularly so for a child who lost
his mother only two years before. I
shuffled quickly past the pictures of
dead relatives.
Maxproppedhiselbowsontheta-
ble, resting his chin on his upturned
palms. “What about them?” he asked,
pointing to a picture of my sister and
her family. He’d known them his
whole life, just as he had known me,
played with my niece and nephew
regularly and attended birthday par-
tiesandfamilydinners.ButIcould
seethathewasbeginningtograsp
thechangethatwascoming.hedif-
ference in how he knew me before,
