Country — January 17, 2018

66 COUNTRY-MAGAZINE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2018

My great-niece put her drink on

the ground and stretched up to

imitate her dedicated Great Dane,

Ace, performing noise inspection

on the neighbor’s backyard.

KENYA KRAFT

Bethany, Oklahoma

Now That’s Funny!

While passing by a park, my son Zach

shouted, “Look, Mom! A tater-totter!”

ALANNA TAYLOR Redmond, Washington

Planting Wisdom
When weeding your garden,
there’s an easy way to tell the
difference between a weed and
a vegetable or flower. Pull on it,
and if it doesn’t come up, it’s a
weed. But if it comes out easily,
it’s not.
JOYCE ANCRILE
Vienna, West Virginia

Prayer Request
After dinner one night, I asked
my son Jimmy to fetch a broom
from the back porch so I could
sweep the floor. Complaining,
he said, “But it’s dark out there.
I’m afraid.”
I said to him, “It’s OK, God is
with you.” Slowly Jimmy opened

the porch door and said, “God,

if you’re out there, would you

hand me the broom?”

LOIS RITENOUR

Galesburg, Illinois

My Undersized Load

Shortly after we moved to rural

South Carolina, we found out

Clemson Ag Extension was

selling all sorts of berry and fruit

trees at great rates. We needed

quite a few things because the

property we bought was cleared

cow pasture and, besides a

huge pecan tree, had no other

trees on it.

So I ordered blueberry and

blackberry bushes and apple,

peach and pear trees. When it

came time to pick up the order,

my friend called to ask if I could

pick hers up, too. I told her we’d

better take two trucks.

When I got to the extension

office I was shocked to find the

pickup area empty except for

some little bundles of twigs tied

with string. I asked where my

order was and the attendant

led me to one of those bundles.

They were bare root cuttings,

which take up very little space.

I could lift mine in one hand.

I mentioned to the attendant

that I felt silly bringing a truck

to pick up the order. It was then

that I noticed a man behind me.

He ruefully stated, “Don’t feel

bad; I brought a trailer.”

CANDY GOERG

Donalds, South Carolina

Student Life or a Wife?

A retired rancher decided

to go back to school. He made

an appointment with the dean

of admissions at a university.

The dean asked him, “Are you

pursuing a bachelor’s degree?”

The rancher replied, “I want to,

but I can’t. I’m still married.”

MATTHEW THOMAS JR.

Bedford, Virginia

Chicken Farmer’s Folly

My daughter Pam sent me

this message: “Things never

to do list. Go grocery shopping

and forget you put eggs in your

hoodie pocket after collecting

them from the chickens, then

lean against the meat counter.

It makes a mess!”

PATRICIA BUTTERFIELD

Kearney, Nebraska

MAKE US LAUGH!

Share a joke, funny story or

photo and we may print it

here. Details on page 80.

JOKES