Shooting Gazette – September 2019

WWW.SHOOTINGGAZETTE.CO.UK SEPTEMBER 2019 55

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PARTRIDGE POSER

Looking good on the peg doesnÕt just apply

to the Guns, you know. By Roderick Emery.

Human

P

artridgesoutofroots,overhedgesandacross
stubbles.Thisis the waytoshootpartridges.
Cap and britches,a light pullover of muted
hueand some sensibleshoes. Oldschool.And a peg
dogforthepick-up.TheOldDoghasquitesuddenly
overthe summerbecomereallyquiteold.Therehas
beena gooddealof lyingin thesunanddiscerniblyless
chasingtherabbitsaround theorchardofanevening
walk.Markyou,therearen’ttherabbitsto chasethese
days,byanymeans,buttherearestillsomeandtheOld
Dogpretendsnotto seethemmoreoftenthannot.
Whichmeansthatthe OldDogis perhaps nowa
pegdogplainand simple.Picking-uppartridges from
thestubble.Little birdsat nogreatdistance, that’llbe
theticket,I reckon,fromhereonin.Slow retrieving.
Abitof mindfulnessandwell-being.
Whichbegsthe questionofwhatwearegoingto
dowiththeYoung Dog while this plodding about is
goingon?
Well,wecoulddoextremesteadiness,I suppose.Sat
uponthe pegthroughout thedrive– andwhile the
OldDogdoesitsthing.Andthepickers-updo theirs,
forthatmatter;andthenwe’llseewhat’s
left,perhaps?Thatseemsa bithard.
TheYoung Dog is steadier on
thepegthanevertheOldDog
wasandI mighteventrustit free
of restraintsif wewerealone.But
if it’sthethreeof us thentheyboth
need to betied orif one goes
we’llallbein a muddle.
Or perhapswe should just
taketheOldDogandleave
the Young Dog at
hometoday? Or
is that unfair?
Decisions!
Decisions!

Old Dog

G

un,socks,hat.It mustbe
thattimeof theyearagain.
OK, Chief, let’s get
afterthem.It’swarm this
morning so it can’t be
pheasantsandwehaven’t
been in the car for days

anddaysso I doubtit’sgrouse.Soit mustbetheother

ones.Theweebirds.Whataretheycalled?It’sonthe

tipof mytongue.Oh,mypooroldbrain.Pa...pa...pa...

PARTRIDGES! That’s what we’re after. Partridges.

Gotthereintheend.Welikepartridges.Well,I do.

Not tooheavyandtheydon’thavethose great spurs

likepheasants.They’llhaveyour eyeoutwi’them,I

cantellyou.Well,well,well,littlepartridgesandnot

farfromhome.LOVELY!Andwhatshallwedowith

theyoungsterthen?YouknowI can’traceaboutthese

days. Hewillhave thelot unlessI geta decenthead

start.Youknowit.I knowit.I stillhavethenose,of

course,butthelegsarenotwhatoncetheywere.Tell

youwhat– let’sjustgotogether.Theeandme!Like

it wasintheolddays.The“A”team. Wadd’ya say?

Onemoretime.Let’sput the band back on the road.

Young Dog

H

at,gun,funnytrousers,socks.SHOOTING

DAY! Must be! C’mon! C’mon! C’mon!

I’m ready. I’m fit. I’m on the case. Let’s

go.C’mon, OldDog,we’re goingshooting! W-e-’-

r-eg-o-i-n-g s-h-o-o-t-i-n-g! TRA-LA!! W-e-’-r-e

g-o-i-n-g s-h-o-o-t-i-n-g! What do youmeanwait?

I’mwaiting.I’mwaiting.I’MWAITING! OldDog’s

in the car. He’s shut the door. I SAY, I’M STILL

WAITING! Boss!Chief!I’MSTILLWAITING!He’s

started the engine. HEEELLLOOOOOOO!! STILL

WAITING!!!! I THINK YOU’VE FORGOTTEN

SOMETHING!!! I SAY! YOU’VE FORGOTTEN

SOMETHING!SOMEONE!!!I don’tbelieveit. I just

don’t believe it. Well, really. Was it something I said?

A dog’s life