May• 2019 | 89
“It’smoreobservationalhumour,
actually,”I interrupted.“Idon’tdo
impressions.”
Thedentistcontinued,“...ofyour
teeth.” MICHAELBUZZELLI,COMEDIAN
SNAILMAIL
Acustomerwalkedintothepost
officewhereI workwantingtosend
a packagetoanotherpartofthe
country.
“Two-dayshippingwillcost
$12.95togetit therebyFriday,”my
colleagueBillytoldher.
Thecustomer,clearlylooking
tosavea fewbucks,said,“The
packagedoesn’thavetogetthere
tillSaturday.Isthereanywayto
makethathappen?”
Billynoddedagreeably.“Sure.
Youcanbringit backtomorrow.”
DAVIDCUTCHER
“You’re right. We should have built the castle first, THEN the moat.”
Nap time
I just want to be as tired at
bedtime as I am all day at work.
@envydatropic
Z
Z
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CARTOON: JON CARTER. ILLUSTRATIONS: GETTY IMAGES