BLUFFOCRACYforget,isamanwhohasnowbeenTransport
Secretaryfortwoyears–admittedhe
“wasn’t a specialist in rail matters”. A
substantialchunkofBritain’sleadershas
apparentlydecidedthatwhen30seconds
of last-minute cramming doesn’t cover over
all the cracks, there’s always indefatigable
overconfidencetoseethemthrough.The
depressingthingis,they’reoftenright.
Most blufers – whether in Westminster,
WhitehallorFleetStreet–aren’tborn.
They’re made. Many of the most well-known
blufersinthecountryhavebeengraduates
of Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE)
fromtheUniversityofOxford.PPEisthe
ultimate training ground for the aspiringEstablishmentfigure.That’snotanaccident.
When Oxford created the course shortly
aftertheFirstWorldWar,itwasdonewith
shaping the country’s future leaders very
muchattheforefrontoftheirminds.
PPE,likeotherundergraduatecourses
atOxford,teachesstudentsskillsthat
become vital for life in the Westminster
bubble.Thefamoustutorialsystem,where
hungover teenagers attempt to defend their
argumentstoatutorwhoisarenowned
expert in the field, provides the perfect
warm-up for that awkward Newsnight
intervieworselectcommitteehearing.
The essay crisis the night before bears
close resemblance to the senior civil
servant’s last-minute ministerial briefing
note or the star columnist’s thunderingW
e’veallfeltoutofourdepth,
whenthepressureisonand
themindgoesblank.The
humanreactioninthose
momentsisfightorflight.Buttheleadersof
Britishpubliclife–thepoliticians,
journalists, civil servants and opinion-
writers–havedevelopedathirdinstinct.
They bluf.
Today,Britainisrunbyblufers:agroup
ofgeneralistsconfidentintheirabilityto
turntheirhandtoprettymuchanything,
even when they know pretty much nothing.
Politicians, in particular, are often compared
unfavourably to used car salesmen. But most
forecourt dealers know quite a lot about cars.
George Osborne became
editor of theEvening Standard
withoutever having been a
journalist.
It’s convenient to imagine
blung as being a modern
phenomenon. Back in the day,
Parliament and the press
gallerieswerehometosome
real experts; admirals and
generals offered trenchant
commentondefencepolicy,
for example.
Butthetruthisthatthere
wasneverreallyagoldenage
of respected, specialist
politicians – bluffing
generalistshavealwaysbeen
abigpartofEstablishment
life.PitttheYoungerand
Robert Peel were both 21
when they first arrived in
Parliament from Oxbridge, thereby proving
that even when it comes to inexperienced
blagging,thelateGeorgiansandVictorians
werejustbetterthanus.Evenourmostre-
spectedpastleadersarewithoutalegto
standon:Churchilloncesaidthat“scientists
shouldbeontap,notontop”.
For the expert blufer, knowledge is either
an ornament to be hung on an argument, or
simplyahandicaptobeavoided.DavidDavis,
the erstwhile Brexit minister, cheerfully told
MPsthatheavoidedlookingathisocials’
advice on the possible impacts of Britain
leaving the European Union: “I took the view
thatIwantedtobeabletosaythatIdidnot
read [it].”
Davisisunexceptional,insomanyways.
Last month, Chris Grayling – who, let’s not
editorial;allthreedraftedinhastebya
writerwhoknewnothingaboutthetopic
24 hours ago. You have to know the rules
ofthegameinordertoplayitwell.PPE
teachesitbetterthananywhereelse.
Afterleavingthetrainingground,
gettingonasaskilledbluferiseasy.The
gameisstackedinyourfavour.Gettinga
foothold in the civil service, journalism or
politicalcirclestendstodemandthree
things:anartfullywrittenapplicationform,
a confident interview and the willingness
tolookbusy.Thisismeatanddrinktothe
trainedblufer.Onceontheinside,itisall
too easy for plausible generalists to slide
up the greasy pole, rising without trace.
Most blufers aren’t bad
people. Blung isn’t usually
about being lazy or
calculating, and often it’s
quite hard work. Quite
honestly, bluffers are
blufers because it ’s often the
only thing they have learned
to do well. Trust me on this.
It ’s a ll I’ve got.
Butinacomplexworld,
complacent bluffing has
become seductive and
dangerous. History may look
backontheBrexitdebate
as pitting two different
types of blufers with terrible
pokerhandsagainstone
another: the traditional
Establishment smoothness
of Cameron and Osborne
versus the populist, trading
floor tub-thumping of Nigel Farage and
AaronBanks.TheLeavecampaignwon
that particular battle of words.
Unfortunately,nowweknowthatwordsis
alleithersideofthedebateeverreallyhad.
IfBritainleavesitscurrentcropof
peoplewhoarehabituallywingingitatthe
helm,weareinforarockyride.Butifwe
can find ways to bring in expertise, reform
how we educateourelitesandreshapeour
media so as not to punish
those efforts, then who
knows? We might just bluf
our way through it.Bluocracyby James Ball and
Andrew Greenway is out now
(Biteback, £10)BOOKS
Hot air buffoons
e country is run by Oxbridge-educated sharks whose chutzpah vastly outweighs
their ability, says Andrew Greenway. And it’s high time we did something about itPhoto: Guy Bell/AlamyNowacquired by Greenpeace, the Vote
Leave bus and its pro-Brexit messages were
an acute illustration of the pervasiveness of
blu ng in public life