Old Bike Australasia - June 03, 2018

Business concluded, they quickly changed from

staid business suits into gay calypso raiment to attend

a cocktail party at the Pakapunch Rum distillery, a

division of Sir Carruthers Spagforth’s Mescalin Holdings

Inc. Of deepest concern was the dramatic downturn in

motorcycle sales, particularly those of their own ill-

conceived and deploringly unreliable models, which

resulted in a vast backlog of unsold machines, parked

on the guvnor’s private desert in Nevada; a sprawling

mass of two-wheeled orphans that could be clearly

observed from the company’s orbiting satellite

“Spagnik”. As the Mojitos, Daiquiris and Coquitos

flowed, numerous ideas and schemes were aired;

most rejected as fatuous folly.

However one that gained traction was the concept

of the Spagonaut – a radical amphibian device based

on the embarrassingly unsuccessful Spagforth Mutant

Moped. Chief of the Experimental Division, Clarrie

Coldchisel, soon had a team engaged on the

construction of a prototype Spagonaut, the testing of

which was entrusted to the company’s ace all-rounder

Edgar Jessop. Initial sea trials took place from the

private beach of the guvnor’s villa on Gibraltar, where

the azure waters lapped against the jetty constructed

of Tuscan marble. With cautious enthusiasm, a more

comprehensive trial was booked for Sardinia.

Once the Spagonaut’s 6-litre engine had been

started with a cartridge from a Hauser, Jessop soon

had the craft manoeuvring smartly between the fleet

of luxury yachts moored in Cagliari harbour. Tragically

however, a champagne cork became jammed in the

throttle linkage and the Spagonaut careered violently

into the open sea, pounding across the treacherous

waters until Edgar was able to beach it on the little-

known island of Lecherous. This tropical Shangri-La

was inhabited solely by young women, who, between

frolicking in the crystal waters and feeding on oysters,

busied themselves with the cultivation of native

juniper bushes, from which a potent form of gin-like

spirit was distilled. Nothing was heard of the

Spagonaut, nor Edgar Jessop, for several months,

until a passing aircraft spotted a sign scrawled in the

pristine white beach sand, in distinctly shaky script,

which read, “Send more olives”. ■

Suzuki RG500

Replica racer

Peter Nicol

WA all-rounder

Old Bike Australasia No.74

available on newsstands from

2nd August, 2018

Sunbeam S7/S8

Original thinking

“Diversify or die”. That was the message, loud and clear, from the Spagforth board of directors,

shortly before they adjourned their monthly strategy symposium in Acapulco.

http://www.oldbikemag.com.au

Next Issue

Preview

Edgar Jessop guides the Spagonaut

through the coastal waters of Gibraltar.

Edgar Jessop

Mediterranean melodrama

http://www.mymagazines.com.au

and selectMotoring & Bikes – Magazines

Digital editions of Old Bike

Australasia are now available

for iPad, Android, PC & Mac...