The Sunday Times June 5, 2022 7Travel
LIAM JONES; JAMES BEDFORD; JEREMY LAZELLand talk wind-blown, whisky-addled
nonsense as the sea below purples
against the darkening sky. The fire
crackles, an owl hoots, my mate’s knees
creak as he warms his toes on the embers.
Otherwise, silence.
And so the days pass. One day we nose
around the island’s 1878 schoolhouse,
now a Scandi-chic two-bedroom cottage
where Sandi Toksvig filmed Channel 4’s
Extraordinary Escapes with Philippa Perry
last winter. Another day we look around
the main house, an old-money riot of
much-loved sofas and well-worn rugs,
with a billiard room, dressing-up
cupboard and brilliantly bonkers
artworks including six Grayson Perry
woodcuts. We hike up Beinn a Ballillidh
(265m or 869ft) for views over an ancient
eternity of skerry and sea, summit and
sky; we borrow kayaks from the island’s
boathouse and paddle to the village hall
for the once-a-week pub.
Sound a bit... boring? Well, it is, but
only in a way that feels profoundly
nourishing. With nothing to do but stoke
fires, watch sunsets and go for walks,
we end up reading, chatting far too late,
slowing to the island’s daily rhythms:
wrens squabbling at dawn, roof slates
creaking in the morning sun, wind
buffeting the Atlantic at dusk.
“Eilean Shona is defined by
what isn’t there,” Vanessa says
on the phone. “No signposts
to beaches, no outside lights.
You always have so much
time.” It feels unbelievably
good for the soul.
On our last morning,
waiting for the boat back to the
mainland, I flick through one of
many guest books in the cottage
(those rainy Eilean Shona days don’t
pass themselves). Among the usual smug
brags of otters spotted and seals
encountered on swims, one entry by
Natalie from Birmingham makes me smile:
“There once was a house called South
Shore / Where less was most certainly
more / Spent all week in wellies / Never
once missed the telly / In a place we will
always adore.” Nailed it.Jeremy Lazell was a guest of Eilean Shona,
which has seven nights’ self-catering for two
at South Shore Cottage from £1,200,
including transfers (eileanshona.com)Eilean
Shona20 milesGlasgowInner
HebridesIt’s adored by the A-list, and not just because it’s owned by a Branson.
Jeremy Lazell shifts down several gears on a visit to car-free Eilean Shona
Below: the Old
School House
and its relaxing
bathroomT
here are two ways onto
Eilean Shona. The first is by
helicopter, which is how
Richard Branson does it when
visiting the island’s owner,
his sister Vanessa. The second is by car,
driving three hours northwest from
Glasgow through Glencoe and the wilds
of Ardnamurchan. Finally it’s 15 minutes
across Loch Moidart on the island’s
private Rib (rigid inflatable boat), with
eyes peeled for the sea eagle nesting near
the jetty. You can keep your helicopter,
Sir Richard: road and Rib will do for me.
Where you stay on the island will also
depend on the size of your wallet. There
is a fully catered, nine-bedroom, 19th-
century house that costs £14,000 for a
minimum three-night stretch; the Belgian
racing driver Jean Glorieux was arriving
the day I looked around. Kate Winslet
meanwhile favours the four-bedroom
Tioram Cottage. In all there are nine
cottages, but only one, South Shore,
comes with a “not for the faint-hearted”
warning. That, inevitably, is mine.
It’s getting there that’s the issue. With
no road to the property, you’re facing
either an undulating 45-minute yomp
from the jetty below the main house or a
boat trip with the caretakers, Sarah and
Jonty. There’s no slipway, so instead you
have to jump onto slippery rocks, then
scramble up a short, steep muddy track to
the cottage. No mobile signal, no wi-fi, no
electricity — and it’s cold baths for you if
you don’t keep the stove going. Not for the
faint-hearted? No kidding.
I am here with a pal, and ten minutes
after Sarah and Jonty have dropped us
off he genuinely begins to feel uneasy.
“Quiet, isn’t it?” he says. We stare out to
sea, make a cup of tea on the gas cooker,
get the fire going for hot water, then stare
out to sea again. A cuckoo calls from the
hills behind; the wind riffles through an
oak. “Did you know JM Barrie worked on
the screenplay for Peter Pan while staying
on Eilean Shona?” I ask him, browsing the
welcome brochure. “Makes sense,” he
says. “What else is there to do?”Sound a bit... boring? Well, it is, but only in
a way that feels profoundly nourishingTop: the view from South Shore
cottage. Above: Vanessa Branson,
the owner of Eilean Shona. Below:
Jeremy Lazell and his friend take a dipHe is only partly joking. The one-
bedroom croft house is pure Victorian
cottage — gas lamps, magenta tongue-and-
groove walls and faded Persian rugs —
zhuzhed up with Moroccan cushions
sourced by Vanessa Branson in Marrakesh,
where she also owns the impeccably funky
El Fenn riad hotel. There is a bath, some
games, antique Berber bellows by the
stove — and that’s pretty much your lot.
“A walk?” says my pal, fidgeting.
We head west on the path that dips and
climbs along the south shore, stopping to
take in burnt-orange fritillaries soaking
up the sun and ruined crofts taken over
by primroses, then emerge across the
machair to a blindingly white beach.
This is Shoe Bay, favoured spot for Clan
Branson gatherings. We strip off — it’s
what Richard would do — and float in
emerald shallows framed by the distant
summits of Eigg and Rum. It is dizzyingly
wild, crazily beautiful — and all ours for
the rest of that afternoon.
Back at the cottage we light a fire in the
fire pit outside, wolf down a homemade
lamb tagine ordered from the island shop,FLING
ISLAND
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