Sting
Joe was born in November 1976. I was 24 and a teacher.
I knew that the window was closing on any dream I had
of making it as a musician. In many ways Joe was the
catalyst for realising my dreams. I recognised that while
he was a baby he was moveable, so we headed down to
London from Newcastle and slept on friends’ floors.
I used to take Joe to band practice; his carrycot would
prop up the bass drum. I’d have to stop in the middle
of rehearsal to feed the baby.
It might seem like the Police had a meteoric rise,
but we did the work. We played thousands of gigs in the
late Seventies. As a teacher I’d had the experience of
entertaining juvenile delinquents and it’s not much
different from being a rock star — but I’m not saying my
early audience were all juvenile delinquents. We weren’t
really a punk rock band; we flew the flag of convenience.
Andy [Summers, the guitarist] was a dad, Stewart
[Copeland, the drummer] was married, we were pretty
regular guys. We were touring America in 1978, turning
on the radio as we drove into a city and Roxanne was
everywhere — that and Dire Straits’ Sultans of Swing.
It felt like the Geordies had made it. After that I didn’t
see a lot of Joe. I was always touring. How do you
balance a music career with family life? You can’t, so it
was a conscious choice, but eventually things pan out.
I’d never really had any ambition to be a parent;
I wanted to be a successful musician. At the same time
I did the job, provided for my kids, gave them some
schooling, fed them. Joe is a big guy, so obviously I fed
him well. Was I a perfect parent? No, it’s a balancing
act. Whatever you do, it’s going to be wrong. When my
marriage [to Joe’s mother, the actress Frances Tomelty]
broke down, it was tough. Joe [who was eight] was
traumatised for a while. He’s a father now himself, so I
think we’re getting to that mutual understanding stage.
My parents were musical. My mother was a piano
player, my dad sang. When they weren’t fighting, they
would perform, so that wasn’t very often. The idea of
having a lineage as a musician is something beautiful.
It’s a very noble way of making a living. We don’t harm
anybody and you can make a lot of money. Joe would
watch me practice but I never forced it on him.
You learn on the job how to shield your family from
the press. You develop a thick skin. I was a grown-up but
I feel for younger artists when they are on a show like The
X Factor and become massive stars. If suddenly you are
not the biggest act in the world, it becomes very tough.
In 1983 I left the Police. I saw that after such huge
success it would just be diminishing returns. It surprised
people, but also gave me the momentum to start
another career [as a solo artist], so even if I failed, at
RELATIVE VALUES
Sting and Joe Sumner
The Grammy-winning musician and his singer-songwriter son on fame and credibility
least people would notice. I got lucky and had a hit
album, The Dream of the Blue Turtles [in 1985].
I’m 71 in October, but you’re as old as you feel. I’m
doing the job of a 25-year-old every night on stage. You
really have to prepare for retirement. You have to have
a hobby — I don’t have any. My life is music. It’s like
asking a fish what happens when the water goes.
I remember Joe as a teenager turning up one day with
his band. I thought, yeah, my kid has a voice, an attitude,
he can do it. Seeing your kid performing is an out-of-
body experience; you recognise the DNA, something
they might have got from you. Joe has been supporting
me on tour. He wouldn’t get anywhere near the stage if
he wasn’t any good and he knows it.
The only advice I give all six of my kids [Joe and
Fuschia Kate from his marriage to Tomelty; and Mickey,
Jake, Eliot and Giacomo from his current marriage to
Trudie Styler] is that making art is its own reward,
regardless of how many albums you sell. Joe says it’s easy
for me to say that, but I’m telling the truth. It’s a difficult
shadow for him to live in, but my dad wasn’t any help to
me; he was a milkman. I don’t want to help Joe too much.
You don’t want to rob kids of the engine of ambition by
giving them everything. They aren’t trust-fund kids
— they work hard. I’m very proud of them.Main: Joe, 45, and
Sting, 70, at the
London Palladium.
Right: in London
in the early 1980s“As a teacher I’d had the experience of
entertaining juvenile delinquents. It’s not
much different from being a rock star”
8 • The Sunday Times Magazine