n the night of June 23,
2010, I was sitting in
a pub with some journo
mates, marking my
34 th bi r t hday.
“Well, that’s it,” said one, looking
down. “It’s all over.”
That’s a bit harsh, I thought. It wasn’t
like I was turning 40.
Then he pulled up the phone he was
staring at and showed me the message.
“It’s Kevin,” he said. “He’s gone.”
And sure enough, he was. That was the
night they killed Kevin Rudd and with it
the stability and sensibility that was once
the hallmark of Australian politics.
Hell, even Gough got two elections
before they knifed him – and at least
then it wasn’t by his own party.
Labor’s decision to decapitate its own
leader – in the dead of night, in his first
term as prime minister, after a landslide
victory and while he was ahead in the
polls – changed Australian politics
forever. Suddenly the new rules were
that there were no rules.
And it’s also why Canberra is now in
its most embarrassingly parlous state
since Federation itself.
This year, 2017, marks a decade since any Australian PM served a full
term in office – and there’s no sign of anything changing anytime soon.
Barring some kind of political or economic miracle, it’s extremely
unlikely Malcolm Turnbull will survive 2018 as PM, and he’ll probably
count himself lucky to make it to Christmas.
Indeed, given recent poll numbers, he may even count himself lucky
to make it to the publication of this article.
The inside running is that the Liberal party is so convinced it’s on
track for a hiding to nothing at the next election, and so crippled by the
exodus of its conservative base, that it’ll bring back Tony Abbott in an
effort to save the furniture.
And why are they thinking this? Because it’s exactly what Labor did
when it killed off Kevin, replaced him with Julia Gillard and when that
didn’t go according to plan, killed off Julia to replace her with Kevin.
Just as the Libs did when they rolled Abbott in the first place, they’re
again mimicking the actions of their lifelong political enemy.
Napoleon Bonaparte once said: “You must not fight too often with
one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.” Except that this
brainless Punch and Judy show has gone on so long that the parties
aren’t even teaching each other the art of war – they’re just teaching
each other the art of defeat.Former Labor Oppostion Leader Mark
Latham once observed that politics is
Hollywood for ugly people. But, in fact,
it’s more like sport for nerds. And as any
good sports coach knows, the most
important thing in any team is depth. A
team is only as good as the team behind it.
Imagine, then, if Australian politics
was the Australian cricket team – albeit
with half the players technically from
New Zealand. Then imagine if every
time they lost a Test series the selectors
axed the captain. Sooner or later you
don’t just run out of captains, you run out
of players.
In the case of Labor’s leadership purges,
it burned through not just two current
prime ministers but also potential future
leaders like Lindsay Tanner, Wayne Swan
and Greg Combet. A generation of
political talent languished in opposition,
only to be torched in government.
Likewise, the rolling of Abbott also cost
the Liberals their once-best retail
politician in Joe Hockey – and a host
of talented moderate ministers will also,
no doubt, go to the guillotine if and
when Abbott returns.
The golden age of Australian politics, the Hawke-Keating and
Howard-Costello eras that presided over record-breaking growth, was
marked by long-serving prime ministers, long-serving treasurers and
long-serving senior ministers. Now, no one gets the chance to hang up
their short pants.
The great Merv Hughes recently mentioned to me that pre-season
training did players’ heads in because all they wanted was to get out and
play actual matches. But when I asked him if that was because the
training didn’t matter for players with such natural talent, his eyebrows
suddenly looked like yoga instructors doing the downward dog.
“Oh no,” he said. “You need the practice.”
And that’s the thing about politics – you need the practice. And no one
in any government of the past decade has had any. Rudd’s first term was an
omnishambles, so was Gillard’s, so was Abbott’s and ditto Turnbull’s.
But guess what? So was Hawke’s. So was Howard’s. The only
difference is that their colleagues didn’t knife them for it and they
went on to lead two of the longest and most successful governments
in Australian history.
Meanwhile, we now have a bunch of politicians struggling to find
their feet and an electorate set to pull the rug out from under them –
if their own parties don’t do it first.
It’s enough to make you look twice at that New Zealand citizenship.THE AGENDA
BY JOE HILDEBRAND
AS THE POLITICAL
COMMENTATOR AND TV HOST SEES
IT, MALCOLM TURNBULL WILL BE
LUCKY TO SEE OUT CHRISTMAS
AS PRIME MINISTER – AUSTRALIAN
POLITICS SET TO FURTHER ERODE THE
TIME NEEDED FOR A LEADER TO SWAP
EMBARRASSMENT FOR SUCCESS.PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES.O
44 GQ.COM.AU MEN OF THE YEAR 2017