Thriller dance. There were about 20 of us.
There were many rehearsals, including one
last humiliating attempt just before the
reception,’ she says. ‘We were all entirely
out of synch and no amount of
champagne dulled the pain! It wasn’t easy
in a full-length fishtail bridal number!’
However, Anna says that despite being
utterly humiliating, the whole thing was ‘a
blast. My friend and her husband aren’t
demanding, they’re just both clowns!’
The problem lies when the lines of fun
and mutual participation blur into those of
rude and assumptive. A common problem
area is the gift list. It’s quite possible that
the guests at Kate Moss and Jamie
Hince’s July 2011 wedding were slightly
taken aback when they found a $10,000
carpet, 14 crystal ashtrays at $383 each,
a cocktail set for $7592 and a $7300
mirror as gift options. And worst still was
Kim Kardashian’s and Kris Humphries’
wedding registry, which listed a water
pitcher for $925, 18 Hermès plates
at $670 each and a vase worth
almost $8000.
‘Hi Tanya, how are you?’ began one
particular email sent to a guest at a US
wedding, which was so outrageous it went
viral. ‘I just want to know is there any
reason or dissatisfaction of Mike’s and I
(sic) wedding that both you and Phil gave
$50 each. As a result we were very much
short on paying off the reception because
just for the cocktail and reception alone,
the plate per person is $200....’
The email went on to say, ‘As I know you
both live together and work, I did not see
any reason for that amount. When it comes
to your wedding you will know what I mean.
What we receive is what we will give back...’
The response of the gift-givers, one of
whom was a part time graduate and
$40,000 in debt, was to send the rude
diatribe viral (cue sniggers).
Yes, it’s true that the bride and groom
have paid for dinner and, more often than
not, drinks for the guests, but requiring an
equal or greater amount of cash or a gift
to that value is a definite no-no.
‘Gifts are lovely, but should not be
expected. It is an honour to have people
come to your wedding,’ says Kathy. ‘The
gift registry or wishing well card should
reflect this message.’
One US bride’s bossy email to her
maids demanding they splash out for
numerous pre-wedding parties in various
different states, was so gob-smackingly
rude that it also found itself winging its
way through cyberspace and plastered on
social networking sites (presumably thanks
to one of the disgruntled maids).
‘If money is tight and you can’t
contribute to say, the bachelorette party, or
won’t be able to afford a dress, then L and
myself don’t have time to deal with that, I’m
sorry,’ rants the terrifying bride-to-be. ‘If you
won’t be able to afford a flight that means
you can’t make a party, which ultimately
means I can’t have you as a bridesmaid...’
Another, named on website Gawker as
Queen Bee, sent an apparently jokey email
(read: passive aggressive), to her
bridesmaids in point form, telling them
‘Weigh-ins will begin in three weeks’, but
warning them, ‘No-one can be skinnier‘They all did it, including the four
year-old flower girl,’ says Kathy. ‘The
earrings were a handmade gift from the
bride’s friend who was a jeweller, and they
were a matching set of earrings and
necklace to suit the tone of their dresses.’
Similarly shocking is the demand that a
bridesmaid or guest refrains from getting
pregnant prior to the wedding.
Alicia Law was put on the spot by a
raging bridezilla who asked her not to get
pregnant ahead of her wedding. ‘A friend
of mine got very worked up about the idea
of me being pregnant at her wedding. She
insisted that I wouldn’t be able to drink or
dance with her and insinuated that I’d be a
lot less fun if I was plodding around with a
baby bump. She ended the whole diatribe
with “only joking”, but I could tell she was
furious that I was refusing to put my entire
reproductive plans on hold for her. I wasn’t
even a bridesmaid!’
Asking guests, bridesmaid or not, to
avoid getting pregnant is, says Angelina,
unacceptable. ‘It shouldn’t make a
difference if she is pregnant or not, it
should be about how much the person
means to you — not what they look like.’
She adds, ‘more often than not there’s
a pregnant bridesmaid these days. If we
know ahead of time that the bridesmaid
will be pregnant, we order the gown a few
sizes larger and then alter it closer to
the wedding.’
Yes, these are the extremes, but do they
point to the fact that we, as brides-to-be,
are becoming ever more demanding?
‘Brides have always been demanding,’
laughs Kathy. ‘If anything, they are more
certain of what they want and don’t want to
compromise. They want their wedding day
to be the best to date and are willing to cut
the guest list down to ensure they have all
the pretty things they want for their day!’
The key is to be demanding in a way
that’s acceptable to your guests, and
doesn’t cross over in to the territory of
rude — after all, these are your nearest
and dearest. And who knows, with the
exception of Louise’s boob job, they
might actually get something out of it!
‘One friend lost 15 pounds (6.8kg) and
everyone was commenting on the skin of
the people who were doing the
programme,’ says Rainbeau of her
bridezilla juice cleanse. It suddenly sounds
like a wedding invitation we’d
all like to receive!than the bride’, and promptly putting
some of the poor girls on a protein weight
gain diet. At the wedding, one of the
maids was asked to wear a pashmina to
cover her fat arms.
Commonly, says Melbourne-based
wedding designer Angelina Baccini of
Baccini & Hill, bridesmaids take it upon
themselves to go on a diet or get their
teeth whitened ahead of the big day so
that they can look their best. But insisting
on it is another thing.
‘One of my brides sacked one of her
bridesmaids because, in her words, she was
“too fat and she would ruin the photos”,’ she
reveals. ‘I will never forget that comment.’
And as for the bridesmaid in question?
‘The bride never saw her again,’ says
Angelina. ‘I wonder why!’
Kathy sites another example of a bride
who wanted to gift her bridesmaids and
flower girl each a pair of earrings. The
problem was, some of them didn’t have
their ears pierced. Piercings quickly
became a proviso for their starring role in
the bridal party...including a toddler!‘Weigh-ins will
begin in three
weeks [but], no-one
can be skinnier
than the bride.’
260 | bridetobe.com.auWEDDING TRENDS