COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 63
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stomach
problems, so I
thought I’d found
the cure! I vowed to
never go back to my
old eating habits. I
added grains to my
diet and became a
plant-based vegan.
When I first
started my blog, The
Blonde Vegan, the
response was massive.
In the first few weeks
alone I got over 3000
followers. I really loved
that my audience was
interested in eating well.
My vegan diet
typically included green smoothies,
a lot of salads and roasted vegetables.
Everything I ate was homemade, without
oil, salt or seasonings. I also did a lot of
juice cleanses, each lasting up to 10 days.
My stomach issues returned over
time, so I became more passionate about
trying different vegan diets. I tried raw
veganism (nothing is cooked above 48°C)
and the 80-10-10 diet, where you get 80
per cent of your calories from [carbs,
primarily] fruit, 10 per cent from protein
and 10 per cent from fat. I juiced, and
I tried diets where you don’t eat past
6pm or don’t eat breakfast. It became
impossible for me to eat out or have a
social life – my diet was all-consuming.
And yet, still I had indigestion,
pain and bloating. I wasn’t myself. I’d
been in training for a half-marathon
and injured my ankle. It wasn’t healing
properly, which I’d never experienced
before. It was my body telling me that
something was wrong. The truth was,
I just wasn’t eating enough, or getting
enough variety in my diet. I now realiseI didn’t have
the vitamins
and minerals in
my body to recover
from working out,
but I thought I could
find some magical
cleanse that would
make me feel better.
I became obsessed.
My friends and
family were concerned
but didn’t want to say
anything for fear of
offending me. And they
were right; when people
did bring it up, I was
extremely offended. I felt
like they were unsupportive
and didn’t understand or care about my
complete dedication to veganism.
Deep down, I knew something
was wrong. I was depressed; I couldn’t
think clearly. Everything I did was all
about food. But I never connected the
feelings to an eating disorder. It was
only when a friend described her own
battle with an eating disorder that I
thought, ‘Oh my God, that’s me!’ I had
hidden behind the guise of my ‘healthy’
eating so much that I hadn’t been able
to see that it was a disorder. I realised
I had a problem, and a few days later
went to see my friend’s therapist and
nutritionist to start my recovery.Big announcement,
angry vegans
Opening up about my recovery on my
blog was terrifying. I was afraid that
my whole brand would come crumbling
down. My therapist encouraged me to
be as honest as possible with people. If
you’re portraying yourself to be livinga life that you’re not, it creates anxiety- the last thing I needed. It took a few
weeks to form the right words and when
I uploaded my post, titled ‘Why I’m
transitioning away from veganism’ , my
site crashed within two minutes. There
was a lot of positive feedback from people
who had similar issues. That felt great.
But there was a lot of negativity,
too. I lost thousands of followers and
got angry comments from vegans and
animal-rights activists telling me I was
a hypocrite and a liar. I got death threats
from people, and not just directed at me - at my family, too. I couldn’t sleep. I
spent hours and hours deleting messages
from my Facebook wall so they didn’t
flood my entire page with negativity.
I was shocked because I was always
a huge advocate of veganism and part
of that was trying to make non-vegans
see that it was a very non-judgemental
practice. Then all this happened. I am
quite happy to be disassociated with
the vegan label.
Now, I’m The Balanced Blonde.
I eat fish, chicken and eggs, while still
enjoying a fairly plant-based diet. I no
longer stress about eating treats – in
Italy recently I ate gelato, pizza and
pasta. It might not sound like a big deal,
but it was to me. And I’ve gained about
three times as many followers as I lost!
People are drawn to a balanced lifestyle.
There’s a fine line between eating
healthily and becoming obsessed. I didn’t
have refined sugar for two years – not
even a bite of something homemade! Now
I see that having a bite is not a big deal.
I’m sure it sounds funny to people who
have never experienced these issues but,
before this happened to me, I would
never have imagined myself behaving
that way. It can happen to anyone.”
Lauren Sams #
“
“
EATING
HEALTHILY
AND BECOMING
OBSESSED
FINE LINE
BETWEEN
THERE IS A